Page 51 of The Naughty List

“I know, I know. Trust me, I feel like an idiot. I want to be over him. I hate that I’m hung up on him, that I’m worried I’ll never find anyone else. I just hear all these awful stories about women finding out a guy has an entire secret family, or he’s married, or he’s secretly a serial cheater, or just ghosts you after you catch feelings. That shit is terrifying.”

Karlie grabs my hands. “So is burying your head in the sand, babe. You’re better than this. You’re not that girl who ignores shit out of fear. There couldn’t be more red flags and neon signs pointing to the fact that even if he didn’t cheat, he wanted to, and he clearly doesn’t value what you built together because he’s willing to throw you away for a break.”

I hang my head in shame because that’s all I feel. “I know. It’s hard because he wasn’t always this way. Remember back in the day when you guys liked him? And my family did too? Then when he got hired on at his firm, things slowly started to change.”

“Yeah, he turned into an arrogant asshole,” Caleb says.

“I think more than anything I just want closure. I want him to be honest; I think we both deserve that. I just wish he and I could sit down and just talk about everything.”

“Has he reached out?” Ariel questions.

I shake my head. “I haven’t either. He said he wanted space, and honestly, I’d feel pathetic. Plus, I’d feel worse if he just left me on read.”

“What’s the plan then? If a month from now he calls you up and says he’s done having space but doesn’t tell you if he slept with someone else, would you take him back?” Caleb asks.

“No. A lot would have to change for that to happen.”

“Wrong answer. Listen to me.” Caleb slides off his stool and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Unless that man can turn back time and erase the shit he’s said and done, you don’t take him back. We are telling you this stuff because we are your best friends. We care about you, and as people who love you, we’d be shit friends if we weren’t honest with you.”

I smile at him. “I know, and I do appreciate it.”

“So was that the piping hot tea?” Karlie asks.

“Uh…” I laugh. “Part of it. But I also accidentally saw my boss’s…um, candy cane.”

The frequency of my friends’ screams would make dogs howl.

“Lead with that next time!” Ariel jokes with a laugh.

“Spill everything,” Caleb adds as all three of them gather around me like we’re back in middle school.

I explain in painstaking detail why I’d gone to my boss’s residence, what went down when I got there, and how Mr. Snow gave me a private tour of his zillion dollar penthouse.

“Are we talking hot dog?”

I shake my head.

“Bratwurst?”

I shrug.

“Oh god, kielbasa?”

“That’s more accurate.”

Caleb and Karlie pretend to faint, and Ariel fans her face and reaches for her drink.

“So then, we ended up stuck in an elevator together last night for like four hours, drinking rum.”

They stare at me with confused expressions on their faces, so I backtrack a bit and explain how we ended up in the situation to begin with.

“But right before the power came back on, I ended up in his lap, and he got hard, and…holy shit! I accidentally touched it.”

“How do you accidentally touch a man’s rock-hard kielbasa?”

“It’s a little fuzzy because I was very drunk, but from what I can remember, my tights made my legs slippery, I was barefoot, so my feet were slippery too, and, well, it was just a whole ordeal.” I start laughing as memories from last night come back to me.

“But nothing happened? He didn’t kiss you?”

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