Page 129 of The Naughty List

She nods.

“You. Want me. To…make you…come?” I practically whisper the last word.

She nods, not looking at me.

I take her chin in my hand and force her eyes to mine. “You mean, you haven’t…done it yourself yet?”

Her cheeks burn hotter, but she shakes her head. “I didn’t know what I was doing and I’ve kind of always had it in my head that you’d be the one, you know. I saved it for you, if you will.” Her eyes meet mine now and they’re bloodshot from drinking and from the pool water but they’re as clear as day. She’s sure. And this isn’t much, right? This I can do. This, I was born to do.

I move my mouth back to hers. Our kiss starts slow but builds quickly. My hand is on her thigh that’s still wrapped around my hips and I glide it slowly upward under the water. When I get to the junction between her legs, I dip my fingers down the front of her panties and she gasps into my mouth. That pushes me forward. This, I want to give her this. I will give her anything she wants, but never take. I move my fingers back and forth over her clit before slipping inside. She lets out a soft moan and I can feel how tight she is around me. It kills me to know that I’m the first man to touch her like this. Technically, I’m still the first man to be inside her and that seems fitting given we’ve spent our entire lives together.

As I push her closer and closer to the edge, her nails dig into my back and her fist pulls at my hair. Our kiss is sloppy now, our teeth bumping together the closer she gets. Finally, I feel her tighten around me and I pull back, desperately needing to watch her as she comes for me. Her lips part and her eyes close as she leans her head back against the edge of the pool. Her brows knit together and she bites on her lower lip as more whimpers and cries fall from her mouth. When she loosens around me, I remove my hand and place her on her feet again. She looks into my eyes and she blushes crimson and I chuckle.

“Is that what you needed from me, sweetheart?”

She smiles and her eyes close. “Thank you? I feel like that’s a bad term, but thank you.”

I laugh and wrap my arm around her, dragging her back to the middle of the pool where we splash around like a bunch of kids.

Fuck, just remembering that makes me hard for her. Even then I loved her and couldn’t deny her as long as I wasn’t taking anything. I’ve got to get her to hear me out. I know what she thinks and I was stupid for telling her the way I did. But the truth is that I’ve loved her since she was seven years old, even when I hated her. I’ve wanted her my whole life, and I refuse to lose her now that we’re so close.

I will make her talk to me. If not tomorrow, then Christmas Day. She’ll have to talk to me. She’s coming over here for Christmas and has every year she was home. This isn’t over. This is just beginning.

15

FELICITY

Christmas Eve goes by in a flash of baking, wine drinking, and Christmas movies with Mom. Me and my mom have always been close, but now that I’m an adult, we’re a whole different level of close. She talks to me like I’m her adult friend instead of her daughter. We talk about anything and everything, such as the guys I dated in college and the guys she’s been seeing. She asks about Carson but I blow that off, not ready to address it yet. I know I’ll have to face him tomorrow, but that’s tomorrow’s problem, not today’s. Today, I just want to relax and enjoy the holiday with my mom.

We’re in and out of the kitchen all day making cookies, cakes, and pies. She teaches me her famous potato salad before packing it up in the fridge for tomorrow and we spend way too many hours peeling eggs to make deviled eggs. Everything gets sealed tight and put away for tomorrow. The rest of the night, we spend cleaning up the kitchen, eating leftover pizza for dinner, and drinking wine and laughing in front of the TV, watching all our favorites.

We call it a night around ten and I walk to my bedroom alone. I enter my room and see that my curtains are open. Mom must have opened them when she was vacuuming earlier. I look out the window and into his. It’s dark and empty and I take this as a good sign as I walk across the room to pull them closed. Just as I reach for them, his light comes on and he enters the room. His eyes automatically find mine. We share a long moment together and just as he takes a step closer, I pull them shut. Tears sting my eyes as I go to lie down on my bed.

What am I doing? I love that man. I know I do. Why can’t he just love me for who I really am and not some easy girl I played to be with him. Looking back, I guess I was always easy for him. I’ve always wanted him and was never afraid of letting him know it, not when I got older anyway. But I never went to the lengths to get anyone as I went to for him. He’s always attracted the easy girls, the girls looking for a good time. The ones who would show up to a party barely dressed with their boobs hanging out. He’d find the easiest one and take her to some bedroom where he’d spend several hours buried deep inside her. Does he think I’m like the rest of them? Or that I’m this way with every guy? Why would he tell me that way? Why didn’t he love me years ago?

With my crying, sleep finds me easily. I drift in and out all night, each time only going back to dream of him some more.

“Why doesn’t he notice me?” I ask my friend, Lauren, as I lean against the wall at a party. I’m only a freshman so he takes me to every party, but he always leaves me with a friend while he goes off and has a good time with whatever girl he finds. Why can’t I be the girl he finds?

“He does notice you, Felicity. It’s just that he doesn’t see you that way. To him, you’re his little sister and you just need to move on. Like with him,” she says, pointing at some random guy.

I turn and look at who she’s pointing at. Hey, that’s not a bad idea. He’s over there with a blonde on his lap. He’s making me jealous. Maybe I can do the same.

I walk over and talk to the guy she pointed out for me. I find out his name is Steven and he just got chosen to be on the football team. Even better. Carson is on the football team, which would make him really jealous. We talk and hang out. He drinks but I don’t. I know if Carson caught me drinking, he’d drag me out of here and give me a longer lecture than even my mom would. The more I get to know, the more I get to like. Maybe Lauren was right. Maybe I just needed a distraction and Steven seems like the perfect distraction.

He’s holding my hand and running his finger along my cheek when I blush. He’s getting closer and closer and the next thing I know, I’m sitting on his lap and he’s kissing me. Like, really kissing me. He’s holding my face and keeping me in place. I feel my body start to come alive but that must be like a beacon that calls to Carson because he comes over and grabs me up by my arm.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks, seemingly repulsed by my actions.

I frown. “What? It’s no different than what you’re doing over there.” I point to the girl who’s now sitting on the couch instead of his lap, pouting.

His eyes flash from me, to her, and back. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Ha! Finally.

“Let’s go,” he demands, pulling me toward the door.

“Wait? What?”

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