Page 76 of The Naughty List

“No,” I respond instinctively.

“Okay, I understand. I want to end the break, Sadie. I miss you; I miss us.” He grabs my hand. “I realized I made a huge mistake.”

“When?” He looks perplexed. “When did you realize you made a mistake? Because I sent you a text on Christmas Eve and you couldn’t even be bothered to respond.”

“I know. I was busy and emotional, and I’m so sorry baby. You have to believe me. I’ve been so torn up, depressed, drinking too much because I’ve missed you so much.”

“So what?” I pull my hand back. “You thought you’d just show up here and tell me you’re ready to come home, and I’d welcome you with open arms?”

“Well, yeah, I guess.” I feel my mouth fall open at his audacity. “Baby, baby, listen. I thought that even though you didn’t want the break, we agreed that this was what we needed to fig—”

“No,” I say emphatically. “You decided that this was what you needed to figure out if I was what you wanted. There was no we in all of this. My feelings and what I wanted weren’t even considered. I cried and begged you to stay, and you left me right before Christmas.” My voice begins to shake and a tear tumbles down my cheek.

“I know, I was wrong and I’m so sorry. I want to spend my life with you. I want to have five babies and raise our family in a giant house in the suburbs with a tire swing in the front yard, and a dog and two cats.”

The tears really start to fall now. My chest burns as I choke back a sob. He steps closer, cupping my cheek.

“Remember when we used to drive around the suburbs and point out which houses we loved? We’d talk about how we could see our kids in the front yard. We’d find a local bakery and you’d say this is where you’d get coffee and pastries on the weekend. And then we’d walk through the town and—”

“Stop! Stop it!” I yell, pushing his hand away from my face. “How could you do this to me? You leave me after three years, then you show up here after I haven’t heard from you in weeks, and you finally tell me all the things I’ve wanted to hear for so long?” Tears blur my vision.

“I know, but I’m here now. Please Sadie, please just give us another chance.”

“What changed? What’s going to change? Are you going to be interested in spending time with my family? Will you actually watch a movie with me that I want to watch? Will you make an effort to get to know my friends instead of just talking shit about them?”

He stares at me, his mouth hanging open as he attempts to come up with an answer. “It’s not—it’s about us, not everyone else.”

I shake my head. “Just go.”

“Sadie, I’m begging you.”

“It’s too late, Tim, just go!”

He doesn’t say anything else. With a shake of his head, he punches the wall next to my door, making me jump, and storms away.

I’m still standing there in shock when I see movement out of the corner of my eye. I look up just as Alex rounds the corner with flowers in his hands. His face tells me he already knows that was Tim. I don’t know how much he heard, but he can see I’m upset, and my red, tear-stained face confirms it.

“If you’re going to say I told you so or lecture me, don’t bother.”

“Hey, hey.” He steps forward, pulling me into his arms and rubbing my back. “I’m here to be your friend, Sadie.”

I don’t hold back, releasing all the pent-up hurt and anger as I sob in Alex’s arms, finally feeling safe enough to let it all go.

He steps us inside the apartment, closing the door behind me as he continues to comfort me. “It’s okay sweetheart, I’m here. I’m here.”

We sit on the couch for an hour. I go through fits of crying while Alex comforts me, getting me more tissues and water. He doesn’t offer his opinion, doesn’t try to tell me I’m strong and I’ll be fine, he just lets me feel.

My head hurts, my eyes are red and swollen. I lean against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he gently rubs my head. I know I’m falling in love with this man, and it scares me.

My mind wanders, and I consider what would have happened if I didn’t have Alex and Tim had shown up. Would I have taken him back? I feel confident I wouldn’t have, but then a hint of guilt creeps in. What if this break was exactly what Tim needed to change? What if I gave up on the relationship too soon? My parents always taught me that marriage requires work from both parties, that love is a choice. There were plenty of times in their relationship when one or both wanted to give up and walk away, but they didn’t.

“Stop overthinking everything, I can hear your brain turning.” Alex’s hand stills on my head. “Just listen to your gut, Sadie. Follow your heart.”

I pick myself up off Alex’s chest and look at him, my body still hovering over his. “Are you happy?”

“Right now? Absolutely.” He brushes my hair behind my ear. “Are you?”

I shrug. “I’m not sure. I want to be. I feel like I haven’t been truly happy in so long.”

---