Page 116 of The Naughty List

“What’s changed now?”

“She came back,” he answers. “I thought I’d never see her again so I didn’t waste any time thinking about it. I spent nearly five years of my life with her, so it seems unfair to just throw all that away.”

I swear, I feel my heart crack and I can’t figure out why. I wanted Carson and I’ve now had him. That’s all I wanted, isn’t it? I should be happy that the woman he’s spent so much time with is asking for him back. I should be happy that my friend is being offered his happily ever after, but I’m not. Why?

I look up and his icy-blue eyes meet mine. I see years of friendship, troubles, good times, and love. But not the way I loved him when we were kids. This is a different type of love. How did that happen? Am I in love with Carson?

“Anyway, I told her that now isn’t the time to try making important decisions. The holidays are crazy enough without adding important life events into the mix. So I told her I’d talk to her when I got back home after New Year’s.”

“So…right now, you’re still single?” I ask, looking up at him from beneath my lashes.

He cracks a smile and nods. “Yeah, I’m still single.”

My smile breaks free. Even if I can’t have him forever, I can have him for now. That’s better than nothing…I think. When I smile, he smiles, and then the next thing I know, he’s pulling me in for a kiss. He sets his cup down and his hands move up to cup my cheeks, holding me to him. His tongue presses against my lips and I open for him. He enters and our tongues dance together in a perfect rhythm. I reach up, fisting his shirt in my hand, pulling him closer and never wanting him to leave.

He pulls back and whispers against my lips, “Want to get out of here and make that car fantasy a dream come true?”

I giggle and nod. “Yes, yes, I do.”

He stands up and pulls me to his side. I wrap my arm around his, and he leads me back to the car. Inside, he pulls out into traffic quickly. I have no idea where he’s going, but he turns down a secluded backroad that’s pitch-black in the middle of the country. He turns onto a dirt road that seems more like a farming road than anything else, and he puts the car in park but doesn’t kill the engine.

“We’re going to need some heat out there,” he says, swinging open his door.

I climb out and meet him around the front in the darkness. I look up at him and he looks down at me. In the same instant, we grab one another and start kissing. This kiss isn’t like the one we just shared by the ice rink though. This kiss is like all our other kisses, brought together out of need and desperation. He pulls me against him and his hands find my ass. He picks me up and my legs wrap around his hips. He sets me on the hood of the car and the warmth from the engine rises up, warming me.

As he leans over the hood, kissing me, his hands are traveling my body, pushing and pulling clothes away. He unfastens my jeans and pulls me up against him to push them over my hips. Then suddenly, he’s spinning me around and bending me over, entering me from behind. He slams into me hard and makes me call out. His hands on my hips tighten as he pulls me back into his thrusts. I can hear his heavy breathing mixed with animalistic growls every time he shoves into me, and that sound alone could make me come.

My release starts to build and my muscles are tightening around him. He rocks against me, rubbing that perfect spot every time he pounds into me. My release rises and breaks free, leaving me in gasps, moans, and whimpers. My sounds only make him work harder, which pushes him over the edge with me. Within moments, we’re both completely spent, our bodies numb and weak as he rests his head against my back to catch his breath and settle his heart. When we’ve both come down from our high, he pulls out of me and pulls me back up. He pulls my panties and jeans up my hips and fastens them before fixing his own. Our eyes meet in the darkness and something is exchanged. Trust, friendship, love? I don’t know, but the way he’s looking at me now is a look I never saw from him before. It cuts deep into my heart, making it come alive and race with the unknown.

He cracks a smile. “Well, was it all you hoped it would be?”

I smile. “It was better,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Because it was real.” I press my lips to his and he kisses me, hot, long, and hard.

10

CARSON

I thought that if I explained Gillian’s visit, Felicity would freak out. I thought she’d fight for me. I never thought she’d just accept it and move on. The fact that she didn’t argue, that makes me wonder. This thing we’re doing, is it just fun to her? I know what we agreed upon, but I also thought it stemmed from a love she has for me deep inside. I love her and have loved her for many years. I’ve wanted her. I was just too afraid of ruining our friendship over it. I thought she wanted me in the same way, but her response about Gillian wasn’t what I expected. Maybe she really did only want a night of fun with me. A night that has turned into two, and I plan on making it turn into three, then four, then five if she allows it.

But her lack of response doesn’t help me out any. I was expecting an ultimatum. I expected her to say, it’s her or me. I would have chosen her immediately and wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But the fact that she didn’t say that makes me wonder if she wants to be with me at all. Is there anything worth fighting for here?

Once we get back into the car and make our way into town, I’m so turned around by these thoughts that I feel the need to take the edge off. “Want to stop and grab a drink?” I ask, glancing at her in the darkness.

“Sure,” she agrees, a smile playing on her lips.

I pull in at a local bar and we both climb out, heading inside. I head up to the bar and order two beers and two shots of tequila. The bartender rushes off to get the order and I turn around to take in the bar while I wait. The place is pretty crowded which surprises me since it’s so close to Christmas, but maybe everyone here is trying to escape their family as much as I am. I see some familiar faces that I haven’t seen in several years and some I don’t recognize. Then I find Felicity sitting at a table in the darkened corner. There’s some guy standing next to her with a beer in his hand, a smile on his face.

“Here you go,” the bartender says, handing over our drinks. I manage to take all four things over to the table and when Felicity sees me approaching, she smiles and her eyes light up. That’s what I like to see.

“Carson, this is Chad. You remember him, don’t you?” she asks.

I look at the man standing next to our table and examine his face. Suddenly, it’s not his face I’m seeing. It’s the face that I remember from years ago, but much older now. He’s the guy she brought to the skate rink that night.

I nod. “Of course, how you doing, man?”

He smiles and nods. “Pretty good. I didn’t know the two of you were back in town. You here to stay or just visiting?” he asks, looking at me.

“Oh, I live in Chicago. Just down for the holidays.”

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