Page 71 of I Can't Help It

And yet, here I am with a blanket draped over me as I wait for the torture to start.

At least the massage therapist gave me the option to keep my underwear on.

I was also going to keep my bra on, but I didn’t want to take any chances of massage oil damaging it. Good bras are too rare and too freaking expensive for that kind of fate. Plus, the massage therapist told me that wearing a bra would make it harder to massage my shoulders and upper back.

Oh, and before you get any crazy ideas, Luke isn’t here with me. He’s in the room next to mine. We’re not a couple, so getting a couples’ massage would’ve just been weird.

Regardless, this whole thing still feels weird to me anyway.

I wonder if Luke is anxious too.

He seemed pretty nonchalant when he told me we’d be getting massages. Maybe he’s done this before? Am I just overreacting?

Did I remember to put deodorant on this morning?

A quick sniff test tells me that I did.

Thank God.

“Are you ready to begin?”

I turn my head to see the massage therapist who talked to me earlier…Kiara? I think that was her name.

Crap, did she catch me smelling my armpit? I resist the urge to yank the cover over my flushed face.

“Uh, yeah?” I drum my fingers against the table beneath me. “I went to the bathroom and everything, so I should be good.”

I should’ve just left it at: Uh, yeah?

“All right,” Kiara says with a polite smile. “Well, I’m going to massage your head and scalp first to help you relax. Does that sound okay?”

I mean, it doesn’t sound horrible.

Since I don’t trust myself not to say something else embarrassing, I just offer a weak nod.

She moves to stand behind my head. “Closing your eyes might help you relax too.”

Right. People close their eyes during massages. I can do that.

So, I do. And then I hear soft music playing in the background. Wait. Was that playing this whole time? Or did she just turn it on? Either way, I can feel some of my nerves calming down.

Huh. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

Kiara massages my head and scalp like she said she would, taking her time with every touch, and she applies the perfect amount of gentle pressure.

Translation: it’s fantastic.

But once she starts massaging my neck and shoulders, I’m suddenly hit with a realization.

A strong, sickening realization that should’ve been obvious in the beginning, but I was too paranoid to see it.

Right now, at this very moment, Luke is being touched by another woman.

It’s just a massage.

I ignore my rational side.

Because if Kiara is over here making me feel relaxed and absolutely wonderful, that means Luke is feeling the same way with a woman who ISN’T ME.

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