Page 21 of I Can't Help It

Thinking about you.

The answer could slip out so easily.

Saying the words would be so satisfying.

But I can’t tell her.

I can’t tell Ava that I think about her every single freaking day.

“Luke,” she singsongs, waiting for me to answer. “You can pass if you want, but then I’m just going to think you have some weird secret hobby. Like…collecting clown dolls!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see her shudder at the idea, and I decide to tease her a little bit. “What’s wrong with clown dolls?”

The look she gives me is pure perfection. “I can’t tell if you’re joking with me or not. You don’t actually have a clown doll collection, right?”

I start laughing, unable to keep up with the charade, and Ava gives my arm a light smack. “That’s not funny! I was worried you were going to start listing their names! And then once we got to the lodge, you’d show me creepy pictures of them!”

I’m wheezing at this point.

She glares at me, but I can see the faint smile tugging at her lips.

Note to self: Ava doesn’t like clown dolls.

“Okay!” she exclaims with a huff. “Now you HAVE to answer the question since you just made me fear for my life.”

I bite back another snicker or two.

“Well,” I say, licking my lips, “I guess I would have to say thinking. I spend too much time thinking.”

There. It’s vague to her, but I know the depth behind my answer.

“Hmm,” she hums, and I can feel the waves of curiosity rolling off her, “I can understand that…”

Maybe my answer wasn’t as vague as I thought.

“And this might sound lame, but I guess I probably spend too much time playing games on my phone.” She proceeds to shrug. “They’re a lot of fun though, so I have a hard time feeling guilty about it.”

“It could be worse,” I tell her with a smirk. “You could have a collection of—”

“Nope! Don’t even say it!” she cuts me off, looking at her phone again. “Next question! Most embarrassing moment? I’ll take it!” Her lips purse, as if she’s considering possible answers, and then she nods. “So, a couple years ago I accidentally slipped on some conditioner in the shower, and I landed on my wrist, then hit the back of my head against the toilet because they’re right next to each other.” She lets out a deep breath. “Anyway, when people at my old job saw me wearing a brace and found out what happened, they teased me about it for months and joked about buying me one of those medical alert necklaces.”

While I can totally see how everything she just said would be embarrassing, I have to admit that I lost some consciousness when she talked about being in the shower.

Breathe, Luke, breathe.

I blink a couple of times to bring myself back. “Wow, I bet that really hurt.”

Crap. I couldn’t think of anything else to say? Of course, slipping and falling in the shower really hurt!

“I got lucky though, only a sprained wrist and a bump on the head. No broken bones or concussion.” She looks at me expectantly. “How about you? What was your most embarrassing moment?”

I just might have her beat.

“Well, my most embarrassing moment has to do with slipping and falling, too.” I offer a weak laugh. “I was ten though, at the roller-skating rink for a birthday party, and I ended up puking while I skated. That was embarrassing enough, but then I lost my balance and landed in the mess I made.”

I cringe at the memory as Ava chokes out a few laughs. “Oh my gosh! That’s just—you poor thing! That had to be so horrible.”

“It was,” I say with a sigh. “Kids made fun of me for months and called me Pukey Lukey relentlessly.”

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