Page 99 of Live To Tell

“You won’t do it again?” He releases my face and steps back, looking down at his shadowed hands. “Perhaps I should thank you. I have what I wanted the last time we met here. I needed Blackwood help for a spell to protect myself, and now I have that.”

My chest grows tighter. “You promised not to encourage the shadows, Rowan.”

“Yeah, well, that was before I needed to protect myself from a powerful coven.” He shakes his head. “If Whitegrove is involved in anything and suspects I’m your little spy, I’m dead.”

“The Circle aren’t dangerous.”

“Oh? Secret societies led by powerful witches would never hurt anybody?” He scoffs. “Especially one protecting a secret.”

“I’d never let anybody hurt you, Rowan,” I say and reach out. “And I don’t want you to hurt yourself because of my actions.”

Rowan turns away and stomps towards the edge of the shed, forcing me to chase after him as he walks into the greenhouse, witch light guiding his way. I step into the earthy-smelling structure, navigating piled bags of soil as he moves around the benches covered in tiny pots of seedlings.

“I followed an idea that appeared logical to me. Then I forgot to stop something I put into action,” I say. “I’m still learning.”

“You had the chance to call Dorian off!”

“I didn’t think!”

He spins back around. “Always the fucking excuses, sweet Violet.” I back up, knocking into a bench behind as he approaches again. “If you don’t see me as an equal, this between us won’t work.”

“You are equal,” I say, “but you’re also not. Because—”

“Because what?” he shouts. “Because I’m not a special hybrid?”

“Yes!”

He staggers back and yanks his hood down, giving me a clear view of his derision.

“You’re equal in every other way, but you’re...”

“What?” he snaps.

Mortal.

My heart dives into my mouth. What have I done?

“What am I?” he shouts.

“You can die, and I forget that!” I shout back. “I forget that you’re not the same as me because so much of you is. I never considered the danger for you.”

“And what will you do, Violet?” he asks coolly. “When I die.”

“You won’t die. I’ll keep you safe,” I say urgently. “You won’t step foot inside the Circle. I promise. I’ll fix this.”

“No.” I gasp as he grabs my shoulders and yanks me to him. “When I die. Next week. Next month. Decades from now. What then? Are you going to make that decision for me too?”

“Rowan. This is insane. This isn’t you.”

“But it is, Violet.” He grabs my jacket and tugs me closer still. He’s red-faced, skin and clothes wet from the rain as he was last time, but Rowan’s beyond the witch creating storms that night.

I can blame the shadows for his behavior, but the reality is I’m looking at the Rowan he told me existed before we bonded. The one whose magic Leif needed to interfere with and stop Rowan from going too far.

My magic found this dark Rowan and encouraged him.

“You’ve thrown me into a dangerous situation. I’m choosing how to deal with this. If I need my darkness, I’ll use it. The shadows worked against Josef Petrescu. They’ll work against mortal witches.”

I swallow hard. “Rowan, please.”

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