Page 37 of Live To Tell

“And you would’ve died without his blood.”

She crouches down. “Is this something you’ve considered? Discussed with Rowan?” I shake my head. “Violet. Ethan and Zeke are mortal, and we all accept that.”

“Yet Dorian wouldn’t accept you were.”

“Dorian only accepts the world inside his own parameters.”

I sigh. “Why are we having this conversation? Rowan and I never have. I’ve no desire to interfere with his life or end of such.”

“Mmm.” She stands again. “Then take care not to put his life in Dorian’s spotlight. Stop the shadows, Violet.”

I’d expected more conversation about Grayson and how Petrescu blood now beats through my heart. Warnings not to give Grayson mine. Has Eloise awareness about the difference between the pair—that Grayson would avoid taking my blood, but that Rowan wants my magic?

“You don’t need to worry. I have Rowan under control.” Eloise splutters at me. “What?”

“His infatuation? That isn’t control. You can not control people, Violet. Not without taking their minds or reanimating them. Even your father realizes controlling others is impossible.”

Infatuation. Bond. Or is that another definition of love I can’t fathom?

“Dorian manages quite well using intimidation and the odd maiming,” I reply. “But that isn’t something I intend to do to Rowan.”

“How intimate are you?” she asks casually.

“Mother...” I warn. “Since when have I craved intimacy of any kind?”

“Since you met a guy you care about and are attracted to? Or rather, guys.”

“I’m unsure what’s worse. Discussion about giving Rowan immortality or giving him me,” I mutter.

“You don’t understand, do you? Intimacy between bonded witches is different.”

“Good grief,” I say and stand. “Allow me to navigate the progress of my relationship with Rowan at my own pace and in my own way. Why is everybody obsessed by physical relationships?”

She laughs. “Your fathers would be happy to hear that you’re not—especially if the physical extends to Grayson.”

“I’ve told you why I won’t touch him again.” Eloise sighs at me and I swiftly veer her away from the topic. “And Leif? Do share your concerns about him and me, because I’m sure you have some.”

“My concerns are for Leif, Violet. Don’t play with his emotions.”

“Excuse me?” I retort, and step back. “I am nothing but up front with Leif. With any of the guys. I will not suddenly stop speaking my mind in order to hide what I think and feel for fear I’ll hurt someone’s feelings. I care about and will help Leif in any and every way I can. Now can we please cease this conversation?”

With a small smile, she cups my cheek. “Perhaps you don’t realize how much you’ve changed. You certainly don’t understand how far you’ve yet to go.”

She places her lips on my forehead. Alarmed, I stumble back. “Please, let’s be done with this, Eloise. I’d like to return to the academy now and continue my investigations that Dorian refuses to help with. A total waste of time coming here.”

“Oh? Visiting your loving parents is a waste of time?” She fights a smile. “Mere weeks ago, you threatened to leave Thornwood for home if we sent you there. Now you can’t wait to return.”

I chew on my lip, unsure what to say. Eloise is right. I’ve changed—I don’t only want to return to the academy, but to my friends as much as the detective work. To the guys.

“I’m joining Ethan when Leif visits the elders with him.”

Eloise’s brow tugs together. “Is that sensible?”

“Solidarity with someone I care about who’s already been through enough?” I ask pointedly.

“Alright but please don’t ruin your father’s hard work in gaining their trust.” She taps her lips. “Keep this shut.”

“Unless I feel something needs to be said,” I reply.

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