Page 111 of For Dear Life

“You would lose control eventually and I’m happy I took the brunt the first time. I’d rather I experienced what you’re capable of—and proved you’re able to stop,” I continue.

“I could’ve killed you.”

“Temporarily.” My mouth tips into a smile. “That’s presuming you weren’t angry enough to tear my heart out?”

She shakes her head. “The blood.”

“At the warehouse, my uncle placed you in a position where he wanted you to kill, and you held back. Rowan says you allowed him to act rather than takeover and lash out. You controlled the hybrid, Violet, but she was still close to the surface. If you hadn’t attacked me, you may’ve hurt someone else.” She looks away. “I’m sorry that I attacked you too, but also glad.”

“Obviously sorry, as the move didn’t end well for you.”

Our gazes lock again and frustration bubbles in my chest at how unreadable she is. Rowan’s right—Violet moved back from the world after taking so many steps towards us.

“And how was my blood? As you imagined?” I ask casually.

Violet turns away and sits on her chair, beside a desk covered in familiar handwritten notes. She sits on her hands, while my own dangle by my side. Lost. I had two options when I walked in here tonight—come on strong and challenge the challenging girl or take a softer approach.

Now what do I do? This isn’t Violet. She’s unsure of herself on a whole new level.

“Why are you ashamed, Violet? You’re part-vampire. Hemia. No different to a shifter losing themselves to their ‘other’.”

“It’s very different,” Violet’s rising voice skitters across my nerves.

I take a sharp breath but push on. “And Rowan? I know he’s taken your shadows. That you can lose part of yourselves to each other. Isn’t that the same?”

“No, Grayson, because I have control.”

“Control,” I say between my teeth. “Violet Blackwood is always in control.”

She lifts her eyes. “Until I’m not. This is different to Rowan—bonded witches are programmed not to harm each other. If I worried about his life, I’d stay away from him too. When I’m with Rowan, I’m spun into his darkness and he meets the edge of mine, but blood is a whole different level, Grayson.”

“Then tell me one thing—why did you stop?”

Violet tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, pupils dilating. “Because…” She shakes her head. “Because I could. I stopped for the same reason as I waited for you that evening you returned from Josef,” she says quietly. “Because you mean something to me. Because I care what happens to you. Because I care about you.”

“And I don’t want you to keep away from me because I remind you what you are. I didn’t die, but it would kill me if I lost you over this,” I reply.

She stands. “I’m not ready to talk about these confusing things, Grayson. I am glad you’re safe and would prefer you remained that way.”

I don’t make a single move from the spot I’m in. “When I’m tortured by thoughts of you, they’re not your attack, or the bloodlust, but an obsession to know how you taste. To kiss you. Seems your dark little self filled my world with enough color to blind me against how dangerous this is.”

For an aching heartbeat, Violet doesn’t move, but her pulse flutters beneath her skin, telltale pink flushing her cheeks. My stomach drops as she walks towards the door. “I want you to leave. I can’t be alone with you.”

“What? Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“Yes. What happened changes everything for me, and between us, Grayson,” she says gently. “I could lose you in so many ways.”

I’d told myself this will be the last time I’ll repeat myself. The final time to ask her to understand. To look into her heart and see if any part beats for me as mine does for her.

And I’m pissed. Pissed at Violet’s denial more than her rejection. Not taking my gaze off Violet, I walk to where she stands by the door before she can move again.

“You think I look at you differently now? Fine, you didn’t ask my permission, but what happened is inevitable,” I say coolly.

“This wasn’t a snatched kiss,” she protests.

“Yeah. I’m glad because I want to remember the first time you kiss me.” Her eyes go wide as I touch her cheek. “Because whether you bite my lip or tongue, or neither, that kiss is inevitable too.”

“I wouldn’t.”

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