Page 92 of For Dear Life

“I’m not. And your grip on my face is unwarranted,” I reply as my cheeks squish.

Magic pulses through his fingers like the beat of his heart, intensifying the sharp frustration passing between us. This isn’t Rowan’s gentle and tentative touch from the evening we discussed our joint power—this is the guy I watched conjure lightning.

The witch who absorbs my shadows.

The moment that magic hits my mind, I yank Rowan’s hands from my face and send him backwards to slam into the wall as I did the day he invaded my room.

He sneers at me, eyes sparking silver. “Oh, here we go. Violet Blackwood doesn’t want to discuss a situation or listen to criticism, so she lashes out.”

“Good grief. This public display after a minor argument is ridiculous.” He remains pinned to the wall by my spell, but the magic he shared with me runs through my veins, mingling with my own.

“Stop talking to me in that way,” he growls.

I step towards him. “Do you want me to lose my temper too, Rowan? You think this is lashing out?”

“You will not endanger my friend by making shit worse for him by bypassing the law. Not in this case.”

“The law won’t work, Rowan!”

He snatches my arm and wisps of shadow lick around his fingertips, the sparks in his eyes dulling. “And endanger you! Think about this. Your enemies will expect you to try this dumb move.”

“Calm down, Rowan,” I say and wrap my fingers around his hand, ready to pull him away. Instead, the wisps become tendrils, binding my hand to his. “Rowan!”

“The fucking witches are smarter than you, Violet. Look what they’ve achieved so far. Someone will find you in that station trying to break Leif out. Or Oz could die while you’re there. Proof!”

“You think too much,” I say, pulling my arm away as he attempts to take my hand again.

“And you don’t think enough! You’ve created a world in your mind where you’re invincible when a fucking fence post can kill you.” His voice rises as the shadows curl further around us. “You believe you’re untouchable like Dorian and you are not.”

“Get off me,” I growl at him. “That’s enough.”

“I’m not some weak kid who’ll do everything you tell me to, Violet.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

Rowan steps away from the wall and my mind reels as I’m pushed back by his magic. “You treat me like an obedient puppy. You expect me to help without question, and if I won’t agree, you ignore me.” He steps closer, his spell now winding tight around us, the magic no longer held back by mine. “I will not be used, Violet.”

“That statement is untrue and merely your perception,” I retort.

“Yeah? Tell me—when have we spent time together without a reason that benefits you?”

My blood races with the magic he’s brought to me not only through his touch, but by him triggering my own magic. Rowan’s eyes darken, absorbing the earlier sparks, and his faster breaths against my cheeks aren’t warm. They’re filled with the cool the shadows bring.

“You even pushed me aside for Leif the other night because he was more ‘use’ to you.”

“Why didn’t you insist you wanted to come with me?”

“Because that would’ve been futile.”

The witch before me seems to take up more space than he did and sucks the warmth from around us. I’m looking at the Rowan he once told me nobody knows, capable of more than they can imagine. “Rowan. Can we talk about this when you’re calmer?”

“I’m bonded to a witch who doesn’t give a crap about me. One I’m stupid enough to fall in love with,” he says roughly.

I choke back against his energy—and statement. “You think I’ve ever allowed someone to touch me, let alone kiss me, Rowan? I’m shocked you don’t realize what that meant.”

“And then?” His face moves closer again. “You behave as if nothing happened.”

I’m struggling for breath, heart thundering in my chest, horrified that Rowan can lose control with such ease. But this isn’t only about today. Or Leif. “I won’t apologize for what I am. I don’t want to fight with you.”

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