Page 25 of Forbidden Billionaire Next Door

"You are right about the court date and the media. But I will not accept you talking about Gianna like that. I will stop seeing her, for Taylor's sake. But watch your words when you talk about her." I correct her shitty behavior and she looks mortified.

I have never spoken to my mother in that way, but this is something I feel very strongly about.

"Whatever, Hudson. As long as I know you are going to do as you are told for the sake of the family. Now tell me when the last time was you spoke to your brother?" Never would be too soon.

My heart is heavy in my chest as I suffer through an hour of bullshit conversation with my mother about my brother and how he needs me to support him. About how I am the head of the family and in a nutshell, what I need or want is irrelevant. It is an idea that has been drummed into my mind and etched into my soul from a very young age and maybe it is time for me to let go of this fantasy, that has been in my mind, that I could actually dare to be happy for a change and just to accept the fate of what actually is.

I am Hudson Drake.

I have responsibilities.

When my mother finally leaves, I feel utterly drained. I feel depressed to my bones and exhausted. She has sucked the life out of me.

Collapsing into bed I want to reach out for my phone and call Gianna. But what will I say? The next conversation I will need to have with her will be to let her know that this is over. Whatever it was or is. It has to be over. I left my phone on the nightstand. Staring at it. I daydream about having Gianna in my arms.

Why is this hurting so much? It is time to shut down my emotions and act like I am supposed to act. Rational, logical, no emotions --- this is business. Family business.

I flick the bedside light off and roll onto my side. My eyes open, staring into the empty darkness.

I don't know when I eventually fall asleep but the next morning, I wake up even more exhausted and feeling withdrawn and numb.

I have to drag myself out of bed and towards the coffee machine, feeling foggy and out of touch with reality. I should go to the gym. The nanny will be here in the next thirty minutes to take Taylor to a birthday party with some of the kids from his daycare and I am relieved that I have most of the day to myself to sort out my head and gather my thoughts so that I can focus on what really matters. The court case.

Walking into the gym I have conflicting thoughts between wishing that Gianna is not going to be here and wishing that she will be.

She is.

Fuck.

This is going to be so difficult.

Should I just go over to her and let her know straight away? Get it over with?

She has her headphones on and hasn't noticed me yet. I can just turn around and walk out before she sees me but what kind of a person will that make me. I cannot avoid her forever. We live right next door to each other no matter what happens from this point on.

Taking a breath and pressing my shoulders back I walk over to where she is standing. She sees me and jumps a little. Her eyes look swollen and pink like she has been crying all night. All I want to do is reach out and wrap my arms around her, hold her, and tell her everything is going to be okay.

She can sense my body language. I guess I am more rigid than I think I am. She takes a small step away from me and nods slowly.

"You don't have to say anything, Hudson. I am fully aware that this cannot happen --- us I mean. That we need to---" She chokes back tears unsuccessfully and I see them rolling down her cheeks.

My heart shatters in my chest.

"Gi, I---" I reach out to her, unable to stop myself. But she steps further away.

"See you around. Hudson." She turns her back on me and walks out of the gym. Her face is turned down to hide her tears from anyone who might be watching.

I can't go after her. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I know I cannot go after her. It just isn't meant to be.

When she is out of site my heartache is replaced with angry rage. Why is it that I am never allowed to be happy? I want to start throwing the equipment around. Lobbing weight across the room. Shouting at no one and everyone for judging my life to the point where I cannot even have one.

But instead, I stand incredibly still. My entire body was as tense and as rigid as an unmovable bridge. My fists are balled at my side. My jaw is clenched, and my eyes are shut.

I focus on my breathing. Just one breath in and one breath out. Nothing else to think about right now but my breathing.

When most of the anger is subsided and I feel like I can move without destroying everything in my path, I pick up my gym towel and walk out of there. I need to be away from everyone. I need the world to give me a break. I need to reset my head and shut down my heart.

I get into my car and head towards my warehouse where I keep all of my classic cars. Spending time with my arms elbow-deep in engine grease is the only thing that is going to help distract me now.

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