Page 44 of Baby, Be Mine

Mason laughed. “I’ll remember about the Big Macs next time.”

I rolled my eyes. “Kitty, this is Mason, my boss.”

Kitty’s eyes widened.

Mason’s gaze went heavenward. “I’m not your boss.” He unzipped the to-go cooler and pulled out a series of boxes and a plastic bowl of salad and grilled chicken that did look quite good.

But that would be tomorrow’s good. I took the biggest box from him and flipped the lid. “Oh my God.”

Kitty crowded in next to me. “Exultations are definitely in order.”

“That’s a good thing, I hope?” he asked.

We both looked up at him. “Got forks?”

He held up plastic cutlery.

I snatched one and so did Kitty and we both dug into the box. I filled up my fork and shoved it in my face with a sigh. “I can’t remember when I ate last,” I mumbled.

He shook his head. “Sit down. Let me get some plates.”

Kitty took the box and we sat across from one another. “We’re good,” she announced.

My brother’s wife took a little getting used to, but we’d gotten quite comfortable over the last two weeks of my pregnancy. I was grateful she’d stayed with me since I’d gotten home.

Even if my mom had been hurt by my decision. I figured she’d show up any day now anyway. My mom and dad didn’t really know the meaning of the wordboundaries.

I wanted to do everything on my own, until it came to actually doing it.

I was so afraid I wouldn’t wake up when Adriana needed me. Afraid I was going to break her arm when I changed her onesie. Afraid I was going to overfeed her, underfeed her—I was afraid of every-damn-thing.

Every day, I still wondered if I should pack her up in the car and go back to Clintondale.

I knew that was what my mom and dad wanted. Heck, even my brother, Teddy, who was currently being groomed to take over being mayor, wanted me home.

His was probably for optics. A new baby to coo over in the Hauser clan was great for video and newspapers. Even if I was the unwed mother. One thing about my family was that we’d defend one another until the death.

Who cared if their constituents talked about me behind the sunny smiles they showed outwardly? Who cared if they looked down on my little baby girl?

That was the part I couldn’t quite get behind. The part that kept me going every day. The part that kept me from packing things up and going home.

I knew she was amazing and beautiful and perfect.

I didn’t want to admit defeat. I wanted to be the mama she deserved.

My stomach tightened at the food and I slowed my roll on the forkfuls as I sat back.

“Everything okay?” Mason unpacked the pulled pork and set the box near us.

“Yeah, it’s great.”Get a plate and act like a human, Emmaline.I stood up and went into my galley kitchen. The sink was empty thanks to Kitty’s fastidiousness. Dishes neatly stacked in the drying rack beside my bottle rack that looked like a square of astro-turf. Little places for nipples, bottles, washers, the twisty things that held the bottles together—all the bits and bobs that filled in for me.

I liked to do all the feedings, but I’d learned pumping was as important as feeding and making up some bottles in between made my life easier. And the way she was eating, I was pretty sure I’d have to figure out some supplements soon.

But right now, it had to be about feeding me. If I wasn’t sleeping when she was, I needed to be eating. And showing Mason that I wasn’t a complete mess.

I grabbed three and serving spoons I didn’t even know I had in my drawers. When I returned, Mason had set the gorgeous overflowing plant on my end table and cleared off the cups that littered every space.

I couldn’t drink enough. And I couldn’t eat enough to replenish the calories I was burning off by breast feeding. Clint and Kitty kept trying by plying me with protein drinks disguised as milkshakes.

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