Page 15 of Silver Tears

“You say that about every boy that has ever shown any interest in me,” I remind him.

“That’s because you’re special, Milly, and special deserves only the best.”

“What about you? You know, with all this with Eliza. I know you have feelings for her.”

Damon averts his gaze to the outside of the window. “I care about Eliza, but I reckon we were always meant to be just friends. Besides, she’s head over heels in love with Savage.”

I sigh, nodding my head. “What is it about those three boys that have girls losing their heads?” I think back on all my recent interactions with Seb Collings, and his easy nature, lazy smile, and mischievous eyes.

“It’s the danger. They’re unobtainable and powerful. Girls dig that shit.”

“Not me,” I say firmly. It would be a cold day in hell before I’d give Seb the time of day.

“Good. Keep it that way,” Damon suggests. “Plus, I don’t think dad is ready to face that his baby girl is interested in boys.”

We both chuckle. I am the apple of my dad’s eye. Everyone in the family knows it, including me. Trouble is, this comes with a lot of pressure. He sees me as perfect, and I love him dearly and never want to let him down. Its why guilt eats away at me every time I visit my mum. Mum leaving devastated him, and I don’t think he’s truly been the same since. He struggles to let anyone get too close. Not that he lets on that he fears being hurt again, he simply says he’s too busy for anything serious. As we all get older and fly the nest, I keep hoping that maybe someday he’ll meet someone.

* * *

The bus is busy when I board it. It’s a warm and humid day as well, and I fan myself with my hand as the bus trundles along at a snail's pace. Charlie missed school yesterday. He rang me just as I was going into my first lesson. Chops told me mum was in bed and she’d told him he was having a school holiday today. Charlie had been upset because they were having a man coming into class who was bringing reptiles in. He had been excited about seeing a tortoise. He’s had this fascination with them ever since we watched a kids’ tv show where one character had a pet tortoise named Arthur. I comforted him over the phone and promised him we would see some tortoises soon, and that perked him up. I suggested he settle down in front of the TV for a bit before going to knock on Peggy’s door a little later and see if he could spend a bit of time there.

Mum is getting less and less reliable. I fear it’s only a matter of time before the school involves social services, and then what would become of my little brother?

As I walk into the house, I can’t help but sigh at the mess I find. The kitchen sink is filled with unwashed dishes and a pile of unwashed laundry sits on the floor by the washer.

“Mum!” I shout as I put my bag down and roll up my sleeves.

“You came!” Charlie grabs me around the waist from behind and hugs me tightly.

“Of course I came.” I turn around and squeeze him back. “How was school today?”

Charlie’s face drops and he looks down at the floor and scratches at his ear. “I got in trouble because I hadn’t done my reading and now Freddie Carter is ahead of me.”

My heart sinks for him. “Well, we had better do double reading tonight so that you can catch up. We’ll show Freddie Carter, who’s best.”

Charlie’s sad eyes meet mine and he smiles hopefully. “You think I can catch up?”

“Chops. For sure you can! Go get changed out of your uniform and I’ll get tea on.” I watch him run off to his room then go in search of our mother. As I walk down the hallway to her room, I hear the radio blasting. I open the door to find her sitting in front of the mirror painting on bright red lipstick. “Going out?”

“Oh, hi darling. Yes, Lenny is taking me to a cabaret night. He spoils me.”

“What about Charlie?” I ask, leaning against the door frame, arms folded.

“Well, you’ll be here and if you can pop him in bed and lock the door, he’ll be okay on his own for an hour or two.”

“Mum, he’s six. He’s not old enough to be left on his own overnight!”

Her eyes narrow at me as I spot the half empty vodka bottle on the drawers. “Have you been drinking?”

She shrugs her shoulders, concentrating on doing her mascara. “And what if I have?”

I can sense her heckles are up, and I bob my shoulders casually. “It’s a little early.”

She glances at me through the mirror. “Well, when you’re an adult, maybe you’ll understand that life is hard. Sometimes you need a drink to take the edge off.”

“I have to leave at eight thirty for the bus. Could you at least be home by eight? I’m not comfortable leaving Charlie on his own.”

She sighs, picking up her glass and downing the remaining contents of her drink before she walks over to me. “Do you know how hard it is as a single mother to meet someone? How do you think Lenny will feel if I tell him I have to cut our date short?”

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