Page 23 of Fallen Legacy

“So, Eliza, you have come for a scan today. How far do you think you are?”

I grip Damon’s hand tightly. “About nine weeks, give or take a week.”

She nods her head and gestures over to a hospital bed. “If you can pop yourself behind the curtain and take off your jeans and underwear and place the blue cover over you. As you are quite early on, we’ll need to do an internal scan so we can get a good look.”

Clearing my throat, I let go of Damon’s hand and make my way over to the bed, drawing the curtains around me. On shaky legs, I undress my bottom half and lie down on the bed. I announce that I’m ready, and she pulls back the curtain and gestures for Damon to take a seat beside me. Damon comes and takes the empty chair, and he reaches for my hand and holds it in his, rubbing his thumb back and forth in comfort.

“Okay, if you can open your legs for me lovely, that’s it,” she tells me. She types on a keyboard in front of her before she pulls a contraption from the side, and she covers it with a condom and lots of gels. “Now this may feel cold. Just try to relax,” she tells me as her hands disappear under the cover between my legs. I shift slightly when the cold device enters me and she asks me if I’m okay. Nodding, I watch as she moves the device around inside me, busy looking at the screen in front of her. “Well, you’re definitely pregnant, Eliza,” she announces, smiling over at me. “Would you like to see?”

I nod my head, turning my attention to the screen as she turns it towards us. The screen is black, but in amongst the darkness is a small circle with what looks like a peanut and a small white light flickering in and out.

“This is baby,” she tells us, pointing at the peanut shape blob on the screen. “And that light you can see flickering in and out is the baby’s heart beating.”

“Woah,” Damon states, leaning in closer to get a better look. “It has a heartbeat already?”

“Yes,” she replies, smiling at him. “You look to be about eight weeks pregnant. Was the pregnancy unplanned?”

I tear my eyes away from the screen, and I nod my head. “Yes, it’s unplanned. I’m on the pill, or I was until I did the tests.”

The doctor nods her head. “Well, how about we print you a scan photo and then you can pop your bottoms back on and we can have a chat?”

I take one last look at the tiny heartbeat before she turns the screen away and types away on the keyboard.

Five minutes later, I’m dressed, and we’re seated back at her desk. “So, Eliza, you have told me the pregnancy is unplanned. Have you decided if you want to progress with the pregnancy?”

I shake my head. “No. To be honest, I think I’ve been in denial up until now. I mean, I know I’m pregnant. I’ve been having the morning sickness and the tiredness but it’s only now, seeing it on the screen, that it’s sinking in that this is real.”

The doctor nods her head and offers me a sympathetic smile before her gaze turns to Damon. “I take it you are dad?”

Damon nods his head, squeezing my hand. “Yes, I’m the father.”

“Well, you do, of course, have options, Eliza. If you decide you do not want to go ahead with the pregnancy, we can book you in for a termination. We can give you medication that will cause the pregnancy to end.”

“So, I wouldn’t need an operation?” I ask her, surprised.

“No. The tablets would cause the pregnancy to end, and it would cause you to bleed. It would feel like a heavy period. We’d keep you in for the day to be sure that the pregnancy has come away. Then we’d invite you back for a scan and a pregnancy test to ensure that everything has come away naturally.”

“I’m not sure what I want to do. Do I have some time to think things through?”

“You do,” she says, smiling. I wonder how many young girls who have ended up in my situation walk into her clinic every day. “We can perform a non-surgical termination until twenty-four weeks, but the earlier you decide, the easier this will be.”

She holds out an envelope. “Here are your scan pictures. Just get in touch and book an appointment when you’re ready to decide what you want to do. We are here to support whatever decision you make.”

* * *

I’m lostin my own thoughts on the drive back from the clinic. I have a scan photo of the baby in my bag, but I can’t bring myself to look at it. It all feels so real now. I saw its little heart beating on the screen, a little light flickering on and off. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that Archer and I have made a life. That tiny bean on the screen has the potential to grow up and be a living person who will have hopes and dreams. I shake my head to rid myself of thoughts of this baby as a person. After all, I’m likely going to terminate.

“Are you okay?” Damon asks me, glancing my way with a look of concern.

I nod my head. “It’s real Damon. This is really happening.”

“It is princess. But what you do about it is completely your choice.”

I swallow, my emotions making me tear up. “I know you think I should tell him, but if I decide to have an abortion, then he can’t know. He would try to stop me. You know how controlling he is.”

Damon doesn’t answer me straight away. “You’re right, he would. I guess, coming at it from a guy’s point of view, I would want to know.”

I sigh. I know he’s right, but Archer can’t know about this baby. Not yet anyway. I wish I could talk to Vee about this, but her loyalty is with Archer, not me. I can’t trust her and that hurts my heart.

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