Page 68 of Impossible

“After Hollis’s second order to stand down, he cleared Leon and Risk to begin shooting. They did, and took down at least a dozen before they reached us.”

“A dozen whose bodies were never located,” Marcus adds.

Joshua just goes on, deaf now, lost in the memory. “When they did arrive, everything happened very quickly. Hollis fought several of them at once, until one hit him from behind and knocked him to the ground. He was bleeding from his head and I thought that he… I thought that he had been killed. I pulled my gun. Margaret pulled my knife from the holster on my thigh. I ordered her to give it back, but she begged me to let her keep it. I agreed.

“We watched as they overwhelmed Leon. They weren’t… they weren’t out of control. They were very precise. They—” he chokes off.

“They cut off his hand?” Marcus prompts.

Joshua’s eyes flash. “No. First they ripped off his fingernails. Then they cut off his fingers, one by one, knuckle by knuckle. They laughed while they did it. They made him watch. They woke him when he passed out from the pain.Thenthey cut off his hand.”

His voice is resolute. Inside his mind, mallets ring on metal. He tastes blood, the loamy grind of dirt in his ears, Leon’s anguished screams. Joshua is walking on broken glass, steps even, unfeeling to the pain. This is too far, too much, and I spread myself like a kite, trying to catch him as he threatens to disperse in the wind like a dandelion gone to seed. I have to keep him whole. His hand over mine has turned to ice, a flat, dead thing gripping me no longer. I flip my hand underneath and thread my fingers through his. He doesn’t notice.

“And you were, what, just watching this happen?” Marcus asks.

“I had orders,” Joshua breathes. “I couldn’t… there were too many.”

“And after that?” Marcus pushes. He’s heard this before, clearly. Lucas looks green around the gills. His eyes are pure regret. The time for apologies is long gone.

“They broke Risk.” Joshua’s voice is flat again, controlled. His mind is not.

“And what do you mean by ‘broke’?” Marcus asks.

Joshua’s memory makes me cringe. Risk on the ground. Risk, trying to obey. Trying sohard.

“Four alphas compelled him. At the same time. They made him do horrible things. They gave conflicting orders. Told him to hurt himself.”

“We understand the stab wound in his thigh was self-inflicted? As well as the broken fingers?”

Joshua nods. “They ordered him to cut off his own hand as well, but he withstood that one. At great personal cost.”

“What do you mean by that?” Marcus fishes.

“I don’t know, how about Hollis tells you to cut off your hand and we see what it takes for you to resist?”

Marcus bristles. “That would be illegal.” He doesn’t like Joshua pointing out that I have more dominance.

“Correct. May I go on?” Joshua asks. The anger helps him hide from the despair.

Marcus nods, irritation flashing in his eyes.

“At that point, a group of them approached the vehicle and ripped the doors off the back.”

“You’re saying that alphas ripped through military-grade reinforced steel with their bare hands?” Marcus challenges.

“You saw the forensics on the SUV, you know I’m not lying.”

Marcus waves his hand in dismissal. “Go on.”

This is the part that Joshua hasn’t been able to say out loud before. To any of us.Thisis what Marcus has been waiting for. I squeeze Joshua’s hand.

“Joshua? Any day now.”

“Enough,” Lucas snaps at Marcus.

“Thank you,” Joshua whispers, not opening his eyes. “They, um… They tried to drag us from the vehicle. Margaret… Margaret asked me to shoot her. She said it would be—it would be better. Than what they would do. I refused. I thought help would come in time. I just needed to delay. I didn’t know things had been scrambled. I didn’t know nobody knew.”

His breathing is ragged, his eyes flitting around behind half-closed lids. He’s nauseous, the bond is roiling with his shame and self-loathing. I take as much of it as I can. I wish I could take it all.

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