Page 35 of Impossible

“She was so scared Hollis, it just broke my heart, and she was still coming down from her spike, and she needed me, and I was there, and I figured she’s our mate anyway, she has to be, there’s got to be some way we can make it work, there just has to be. So, of course I gave her what she needed.”

“Are you fucking stupid?” I snap.

Leon ignores the insult like I didn’t even speak. “I told her not to tell anybody.”

“That’s even worse! She probably ran to Dahlia or Wilder the second you were gone!”

“No, she fell asleep. I put her to bed. And I went to her appointment with the doctor today and nobody stopped me. Her hormones are all over the place. She needs us.”

I clench my fists again and grimace as the cuts in my palms smart. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then another. I try to clear my mind, but it’s almost impossible. I’m angry, and the smell of her still hangs between us, a gravitational force I can’t let myself fall under.

“What should we do?” Leon’s voice is plaintive. He needs me to be Pack Alpha right now. Even after what I just did, he looks to me.

Shame curls in my gut. I fell first in the attack. Everything has been in pieces since. And now this. An omega. A sick omega, a ticking time bomb until her heat.

“Don’t tell Joshua and Risk,” I start.

“Maybe if Joshua scented her…” Leon’s already been duped by her scent. By the hope—the idealism that seems to come with the sweet pea bergamot goodness of Indigo.

“No.” My voice is resolute. “If he scents her and we can’t have her, it’ll break him.”

“He’s already broken, Hollis.”

“No. That’s an order.”

Leon bristles, but doesn’t argue.

“I’ll poke around at the Coalition and see if I can’t get us back on the list,” I continue.

“We’re not getting on the list without the case closed.”

He’s right. We need Joshua back. And even then, if by some bizarre chance we’re found liable… I can’t think about that. The past six weeks without the pack bond have been torture enough. If we get charged, we’ll be forcefully unbonded. I might as well put Joshua and Risk out of their misery right now—neither would survive it. Even with the bond shuttered, we’re their only ties to reality, and those ties are tenuous at best.

“So, what, then? We go feral and kidnap her?” Leon’s voice is spiteful, and I can’t blame him. Everything we campaigned against, with our blind faith in the Coalition. When did things go so horribly wrong? We used to believe in this government. Now it seems we’ll fall victim to the systems we helped build. Or, at least,Ihelped build. I wipe the spiteful thought away.

This is different. She’s our fated mate. We’d never take her unwillingly, never steal her, even if she chose another pack. The thought is like a lance to my heart. But if she wanted us, if we wanted her, if the Complex and Coalition tried to come between us, could we go rogue?

I put my head in my hands.

“Hollis.”

I can’t look at him. There’s no right answer. I’m the fucking alpha, that’s myjob, and my brain feels like it’s moving through a thick soup of her scent, totally useless.

“There’s a mixer Wednesday night,” Leon says softly. “Will you come meet her?”

It’s wrong. Going to a mixer without Risk and Joshua? Every part of me screams no. Instead of listening to my instincts though, I nod. I can meet her first, get the lay of the land, figure out a strategy before taking it to the pack. Two days. It feels like a fucking eternity. “Fine. But seriously, Leon. Don’t tell Risk or Joshua. Not until we know we can have her. That she wants us too. And youtell mebefore you do or say anything with her. I want a full report after lunch.”

He recoils at the order. I can practically hear his response in my head. Or, what he would have said, in the before-times.She’s an omega, Hollis, not a mission. He’s never been good at separating personal and political. He’ll have to be now, if he wants a chance in hell with this girl.

Instead, he just slides out from between me and the fridge and heads upstairs without another word.

11

Inexorable

Indigo

Aknockonmydoor wakes me, and for a moment I’m disoriented, confused by my unfamiliar surroundings. When I look outside, I realize it’s dark. I fell asleep after getting back from the med hall, too exhausted from the walking and anxiety and Leon.

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