Page 28 of Impossible

“So… after my heat? That’s so backwards. What am I, a slave?”

“A ward. I promise that’s a good thing. For the suppressors, the doctor will give you a definitive answer, but it’s likely going to be a no, Indie.”

“Why?”

“The doctors will be able to give you better answers,” she dodges. “Do you have any other questions for me?”

I scowl at her dismissal. I try to gather my thoughts. Rather than spend yesterday in self-pitying misery, I spent it planning. I cross out the first question on my list. So, Ms. O’Brien is a no-go on the suppressors front. I wonder if Leon would be willing to help instead.

I look at the next question on the list. “I’d like to go back up to Adams,” I begin. “I understand my hormones are unpredictable, but I’m stage managing a show and I don’t understand why, if I use de-scenter, I can’t attend rehearsals. There’s a month left until the show, and stage managing is really hard and kind of important and they need me to be there. If I took suppressors too it would essentially be like I’m not an omega at all.”

Ms. O’Brien’s eyes pierce me. I realize they’re hazel. I thought they would be brown, but now that they’re filled with an ocean of pity, I can see that they’re actually a tawny green color. “Indie, youarean omega. The sooner you can come to terms with that, the easier things will be.”

“I just don’t understand why that means I have to lose my entire life,” I counter, my face burning. Ihatebeing pitied. “Why keep everybody separate? Why not intermix and allow us to be normal?”

Ms. O’Brien thinks about that. “Because you’re talking about beta normal. Your normal isn’t their normal. It isn’t too different, but it’s different enough that blending the two wouldn’t allow you to find yours. And the number of betas in the world far surpasses the number of alphas and omegas. Their normal would win out every time. The Complex creates a safe space for you to find your normal, free of that influence.”

I’m shaking my head. “Their normalismy normal.”

“No, it isn’t. I understand the temptation; you’ve been raised in that normal for years. Which is why it will be so difficult to unlearn it and find your own. A clean break is better, not to mention safer. The Complex offers far better protection for you than Adams, should you spike or go into heat.”

“It’s the same campus though! The same fence, the same security, why is one set of buildings better than another?” I can’t help but raise my voice.

“The threat isn’t justoutsidethe walls, Indie.”

I open my mouth to argue, but then what she said truly hits me. “What?” I say, dumbfounded.

“An omega’s hormones are potent. Betas can’t technically rut, but they are affected by hormone spikes, and the students and staff aren’t vetted or trained the way that ours are. We’re not trying to trap you here to make you miserable, Indie. The goal is to set you up to have a happy and fulfilling life. As an omega.”

I chew on my bottom lip as I think about that. I can’t imagine Cam or any of my male teachers acting untoward with me. Even when I spiked on Friday, Cam didn’t seem to notice. Did he? The way he was leaning towards me, was that my hormones duping him too?

I scratch out the question on my list, refusing to let myself remember the humiliation of almost kissing him.

Scanning the list of questions, I realize I don’t want to ask the rest.

“Indie, is everything ok?”

“I just want to see my friends again,” I strangle out.

“Oh Indie.” Ms. O’Brien’s voice feels as jelly-like as the tears choking me. “You can text them, and they can come visit you on the weekends down here. We aren’t trying to rip your entire life away.”

I can’t imagine Rose in the courtyard here. She always felt resentful that her perfect grades didn’t secure her an invitation to the elite campus, though she’d never admit it. Now I know why. I wonder if she’d even believe me. I barely even believe it; if it weren’t for the scenting and the dominance I felt rolling off Leon on Friday, I’m unsure I would have bought anything that the textbook talked about.

“My phone got smashed,” I say. I had saved for months to purchase it, a used, four-generations old iPhone. It had been on the grass next to me when Leon scooped me up. Now it’s probably smashed into the dirt under some alpha’s boot, never to be found again.

“Well, that is very unfortunate. You’re welcome to use my office phone if you’d like to call them?”

I almost smile at the thought of Rose picking up a call, any call, whether from a contact or from an unknown number. Hell would freeze over first.

“That’s fine,” I shake my head, trying to quash the ache of missing my friends. “That wasn’t even one of my questions coming in.” I pick up my notebook and realize my hands are shaking. None of the questions seem very important now. I wrote so many down, but I’m struggling to remember why they mattered. Rose and Cam are gone. Life as I knew it is gone. Ms. O’Brien seems so eager to indoctrinate me into her world, but all I can think about is the one I left behind.

She blathers on about the Complex when I don’t read out another question for her. Apparently there’s a whole second government in the US dedicated to alphas and omegas called the Coalition. It’s based in DC just like the US government, and they’re closely tied together—the current president is an alpha, and the head of the Coalition is one of his packmates. Ms. O’Brien says that that’s fairly typical, for one pack to hold both governments. I only vaguely register what she says. My mind is on the play.

My first time stage-managing. I was good at it too. Only I could call all the lighting and sound cues. I have no idea who’ll do it now—my show bible was in my boxes of things I opened on Saturday. They’ll need it back at some point. I won’t be able to get it to them.

“Are you listening, Indie?” Ms. O’Brien interrupts my thoughts.

“Yeah, of course,” I nod.

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