Page 18 of Impossible

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just a flashback,” he answers my question before I can ask it. “They’ve been happening less. I thought I was past them. I’m so sorry.”

“From when you lost your hand?” I push, even though I know I shouldn’t.

He nods, surprising me. His hand is still circling his stump. “It was fairly traumatic for us.”

“You were all there?”

“Yes. On a mission.” His tone leaves no room for further questioning. “But enough, we’ll have time for that later. I’m sure you have more questions.”

“Later?” I echo.

He looks at me then, and the way his eyes flash sears something inside me. My knees buckle, and I lurch backwards, sitting on the bed. He blinks at me, like he’s waiting. He doesn’t answer my stupid question.

“Um,” I hesitate.Heat. Omega. Alpha. Complex. Custody. Pain. “You said my heat would be painful. And the headmaster said it would be soon. How soon? How painful?”

“We don’t know how soon,” Leon hedges. “We’ll go to the med hall for testing and they might be able to pinpoint it. It’s going to be unpredictable, Indie.”

I gulp. I know why, and he does too, but he doesn’t say it, and I’m thankful for that.

“In terms of pain… it won’t be painful if you have a pack. And Indie,” his jaw flexes, like the words are hard for him to say, “you’ll need a pack. Even if it isn’t one you want to mate with.”

“Mate?”

He’s got to be fucking kidding.

He isn’t. He looks at me evenly. “Yes. That’s what we call it, finding a mate. In an ideal world, every omega would find her pack, they’d bond and that would be that. Unfortunately there aren’t enough omegas to go around anymore, so it doesn’t always work out like that.”

“To go around?”My vision tunnels.

“No, that’s not—I’m sorry. That was crass. It’s not like that.”

“Really? So, if I decide I don’t ever want a pack, that would be ok?”

“You won’t decide that,” he growls. I glare at him. He sighs. “Indie, you’ll find your mates.”

I don’t know why, but the certainty in his voice feels disrespectful. He swallows once, returning my stare. Something inside me wants to avert my gaze. After a moment, it becomes so unbearable I look down.

“That’s your omega instincts,” Leon says softly. “You’ll never want to stare a fully mature alpha in the eye for too long.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mutter.

“Look, Indie, I know this must be overwhelming. I can’t imagine how you feel right now. But being an omega… it’s a very, very special thing. You’ll see, when you get to meet some others and start class.”

“I’m struggling to believe that.” I fight to keep my calm. I thought I was too exhausted to panic again, but it’s rising in me anyway. It was the stare-off that did it, my body’s inability to look Leon in the eye. Is that how it’s going to be from now on? I start shaking, and it’s not from the cold.

I’m suddenly very aware of how frail and small I am, how big and strong Leon is, how incredibly easy it would be for him to physically overpower me.

“I think I want to be alone,” I whisper, my voice hollow. I can feel my heart racing again. My blood is thin as water, useless to power my brain or body. My limbs are mush.

“Indie, are you ok?” Leon is peering in my eyes now, but his voice is high above me, his face at the end of a black tunnel that grows longer with each passing second.

“My turn,” I half-smile, my own voice sounding fifteen miles away, but unlike Leon I’m not just tuning out. My vision blacks out entirely, a dull roar coming over my ears. For a moment, reality winks out.

I was standing, leaning against the bed. Now I’m not.

“Shh, little blue jay, little bird, you’re ok, everything will be ok,” Leon’s voice croons above me. I’m rocking slowly. My thoughts feel like they’re being conducted via molasses. Every part of my body aches, except for where he’s touching me, his skin like fire against mine. He’s touching me.

I fight to open my eyes, but they weigh a million pounds, and when I do all I see is gray static and red pops.

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