Page 105 of Impossible

“Somebody has to plan.”

“We plan together. Wait till Joshua gets back.”

“Oh, are you Pack Alpha now?”

“Do you need me to be? Because your packmate is right here and he needs you.”

“He caused this.” Hollis is a guitar string tuned too tight.Pluck pluck pluck.Ouch.

“Hollis.”Leon’s growl is deep. The string shreds. Hollis’s memories explode in the bond.

This house, when we first arrived. Dusty, empty, derelict. Scents everywhere. Sorrow. Memories of being little, sunlit afternoons, chasing sisters in sock-feet on polished wooden floors. His mother’s hospital room. His fathers. Points on a compass in the sterile space, as far from each other as they could get. No true north.

Me. Ouch.

I snarl whine whimper cry. His thoughts of me are a messy blur. I’m a messy blur. Passed out in the bathroom, vomit crusted in my hair. Leading a strike team, long silent strides and polished black gun. In the hospital, so many times, so many broken bones and concussions and stitches and rainbow-colored pills. In bed, hair all tangled and sleep in my eyes. He loves me and he hates me and I think I want to die.

The front door opens and I am wired.Joshua.

Leon doesn’t let me up. He and Joshua are in the bond. Murmurs to each other I can’t parse. Too much self-loathing.

“Hey.” Joshua’s voice is quiet. Leon lets me sit.

Joshua. He is paper-thin skin and purple circles and tired eyes. Chewed lip and black curls and hands on my shoulders and I needmore more more more more.

But he holds me at arm’s length. “You can’t do this, not now. I feel how big it is. I feel it too. But we have Indie to think about.”

I need him like I need air. A shield between me and Hollis. A buffer. Not fairnotfairnotfairnotfair.He sighs. He leans back. Away. I reach, but he leaves leaves leaves.

Then. Hollis. On his knees. In front of me. My heart stops. I want to slice slash burn myself. I want to bare my throat and whine and beg. I want to turn and run and run and run and run. I want to touch.

He clears his throat. He opens his mouth. He closes his mouth. The bond bubbles. Slow. Fumbling.

Another cloud in the bond. But this one is misty velvet soft. Pale blue sky and early morning fog and dewy grass and his warmth next to me, in front of me, pine fresh everywhere.Sorry.

I’m shaking.

Love you.

I clench my fists.

He pries my fingers apart. He puts my palm on his chest. The other on his clean-shaven cheek. His heart thuds. His mouth speaks. “I know you didn’t mean to. I know it wasn’t on purpose. I know you care for her too. I know you’re trying your best. I know, Risk. I know you.”

I feel his mouth make the words. I let them wash over me. I try to listen. My toes are squinching in the wet grass of the bond. Joshua is there now. Leon too. We all feed it. Cool air and a new day ahead.

“We need to figure out what to do.” Joshua’s words are soft. “Risk only kickstarted the inevitable.”

“Indie the Inevitable.” Everybody looks at me. “Right? Midas the Miserable and Indie the Inevitable.”

Hollis’s amusement sparks. He lets out a little huff of a laugh into my palm. It fades too quick.

“What do we do?” Leon asks. His misery is Indie’s eyes right after I spoke. When the shock faded. The trust he earned, soured to fear. He wears grooves in the memory, playing it over and over.

“Rogue?” Joshua asks.

Hollis doesn’t need to say no. The bond flares with his disgust. His heart pounds under my palm. Forsake the government he built? No way.

“Why don’t we appeal?”

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