Page 70 of Impossible

It’s the exact opposite of what I would have said.

Joshua gives in, sagging fully into Leon’s arms, the sobs so powerful that they’re silent, just wracking his body. He looks like he’s seizing. There are no tears, no words. I fight my inner urge to cringe away from a show of such vulnerability. Leon is made for it.

He rocks slowly, a consistent rhythm to counter Joshua’s jerky movements. His eyes are open and locked on mine. I can’t read them. I just watch, my hand resting on Joshua’s shivering back. I can feel the knobs of his spine through his thin sweater.

This is the difference between Leon and I. I wanted Joshua under control. Leon wanted him better.

I bow my head in shame, rubbing my hand in soft circles on Joshua’s back. Some fucking Pack Alpha I am. Leon can see it in my eyes. I can’t meet his gaze.

He just keeps rocking. I take deep breaths, matching his rhythm, giving Joshua something to cling to. I don’t know how long we stay there. It feels like forever. My knees ache. Joshua’s body relaxes, and when the fit seems to have passed, he pulls away from Leon.

“Is Indie ok?” he rasps.

Leon’s shoulders shake. “Areyouok?”

Joshua waves his hand, dismissing the question. “It’s over now.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Marcus held it,” I grit out.

Leon’s brow furrows.

“And I’m super fired,” Joshua jokes lamely. “My stint as an English teacher will be my swan song.”

“That’s up for debate,” I counter.

Joshua shakes his head. “I don’t want to go back to missions.”

“Agreed,” Leon nods firmly.

I press my lips into a thin line, but don’t argue. It isn’t the time or place, and there are other paths to where we want to go than field work. I can still matter, even if my pack decides not to.

“No more missions,” I acquiesce. “Now, do you want to go home?”

“Can we sleep in the pack bed?” Joshua asks.

“Of course,” Leon answers before I can. I feel a brief flash of irritation. I would have said the same thing anyway. I wish Risk would be home to sleep with us. He’s always been good at breaking down the reservations that Leon and I have. Leon is better at putting his aside when he knows he’s needed.

Which just leaves me. The one meant to hold everything together, useless when it all falls apart anyway.

20

Incarnate

Indigo

“Whatisthis?”Iask as Cecilia places the breakfast tray on my lap to wheel me out of the dorm. A piece of paper is folded beneath a covered plate that smells strongly of blueberry pancakes.

“What? Oh, the paper? Probably your pack sheet.”

“Pack sheet?” I unfold it and find a bulleted list of names: Orion, Anderson, Black, Phoenix, Mason, Eros.

Cecilia waves her hand dismissively. “The list of packs that you’re genetically predisposed for successful heats with. Your testing must have come back.”

“Successful heats?” I echo. The note of horror in my voice is not lost on Cecilia.

“It’s no big deal. All unmated alphas and omegas get them. One of the perks of the Coalition.”

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