Page 41 of Impossible

Too many contradictions.

Bergamot and black tea and need.

The feeling of being ok.

Brief, too brief.

I need her.

Stand DOWN.

I howl. Pitiful. Pathetic.

Blood in my eyes. I wipe it away. Too much.

Joshua. I need Joshua.

One more, good measure.Thud. Ow.

Run. Fast.

Leave them behind. Leave her behind. Leaving, always leaving.

Doesn’t work, I know it doesn’t work.

Panting, eyes stinging. Too much blood.Dumbass. Don’t hit your head on things. Duh.

Car. No. Feet. I need earth.

Shoes off. Leave them.

Dirt between my toes. Grounding.

I come back slowly. Those orders weren’t now. Not tonight. I don’t have to listen.

Leon had to. He had to. I—

I sob as I realize. Fate.

She’s ours.Wasours. I attacked her. I ruined it.

Ruined ruined ruined ruined.

I trip. Fall. Vomit, all over my hands. Bitter bile in my throat.

My omega, powerless beneath me. Afraid.

Wretch. Heave. Nothing.

Get up, step in vomit, dumbass, keep going.

Blood in eyes, wipe with hands, vomit in eyes,ow, stinging, stupid fucking dumbass useless alpha.

“hurt yourself little alpha”

“be creative”

“that’s an order”

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