Page 53 of Prove You Wrong

‘What?’ He rubs the back of his neck. ‘It’s been a while.’

‘You counting?’

‘Yup. So did she turn you down?’ He shifts to make some space. ‘You saw her in the cold light of the illuminations and changed your mind?’

‘No, nothing like that.’ I tut as I flump on the sofa next to him and reach for the spare games controller.

He sets one of his No Bullshit expressions on me and I sigh, placing the controller back down.

‘I tried to show her I respect her bynotfucking her and now, I’m not sure if she feels rejected, or if I’ve missed my chance.’ Sitting forward, elbows on my knees, I rub my head in my hands. My hair’s starting to feel fuzzy as it grows back in.

‘Shit, you really like her.’ His voice goes up a notch.

‘I don’t know what’s happened. At first it was fun rattling her cage, and then … ’ I lift my head, trying to find the words to explain. ‘Then she made some massive assumptions about me.‘

‘So then it was fun to prove her wrong?’ Chunk raises an eyebrow.

‘Yes. And now … ’ I tail off.

‘Now, it’s not about proving her wrong. It’s turned into you trying to proveyou’re right. Right forher.’

I fucking hate Chunk sometimes. He’s a perceptive prick and has a way of calling out uncomfortable truths.

‘This was only supposed to be a bit of banter. Proving a point that she’d misjudged me.’ It was never supposed to be a properdatedate.

‘Right.’ Chunk sits up a little straighter, drawing out the word. ‘Ever since she agreed to go on a date with you, you weren’t acting like a guy out to prove a point. You were acting like a guy thinking about the f-word.’

‘No. I told you, tonight I went to exceptional effortnotto fuck her.’ Why the fuck did I turn her down?

‘Not that f-word,’ he tuts, exasperated.

‘Well, what fucking f-word?’ I match his tone.

‘Thefuture.’

‘Shit.’

I can’t deny it.

I have been acting like that.

When did my stupid brain jump from indulging in banter with a hot chick to trying to win her affection?

‘I was only supposed to show I was a decent guy and that she’d gotten the wrong idea. Looks like I’m the one who had the wrong idea.’ I force my voice to be light. ‘Joke’s on me.’

‘I don’t mean to diminish your problems, bro, but I can’t see the issue. Sounds like she likes you and you like her.’

‘Shelikedme. Probably changed her mind after tonight.’ I scrub at the back of my neck.‘And I wasn’t supposed to like her back.’

‘What’s the problem?’

‘After Stacey?’ I glare at him. He’s not going to make me relive that fucking heartbreak. ‘I’m not looking for a serious relationship.’

I’d made rules. No girlfriends, no relationships, no pain.

No names had been a rule, too, and that went out of the fucking window.

Clenching my hand into a fist, I feel like I’m on the brink of something. On the brink of losing reason and control, yes. But also on the brink of opening myself up to being hurt again, of being rejected, of not being good enough.Failing. Forcing my fingers to straighten, I splay them wide, working to keep them steady. The fear is real.

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