Page 35 of Alive and Wells

I’m trying to remember the last time I hugged someone. Felt the weight of a body pressed into my chest, the warmth of breath against my neck. She needs to be held and I’m consumed with an endless need to hold her.

She sucks in a ragged sob, and I selfishly hold tighter. Within moments, her muscles melt into mine, and I use the leverage my hand has on her back to pull her closer. So close our hearts beat in unison and our breathing forms a perfect melody. She curls up in the space between my legs, and my chin rests firmly on top of her head.

“I’m sorry for the trauma dump. That was a lot to unload on you, and you didn’t come home tonight wanting a crying girl in your lap.”

I hate seeing her cry. But I’m definitely okay with her being in my lap.

“Don’t be. You shouldn’t have to deal with this shit by yourself, and I’m happy to listen. I’m glad you came here instead of being alone.”

“I didn’t feel safe at home and wasn’t sure where else to go. I thought I’d be safe here… with you.”

Her head slips tighter under my jaw, settling into me. A sugary coconut smell drifts up from her hair, and with a single thought—fuck it—I take my chances by stroking a rough hand over the silky tresses.

Fuck my heart, too, I guess.There’s no keeping her at a distance or convincing myself I only want something casual with her. I didn’t honestly think I had it in me to do either, anyway. It’s going to hurt like a bitch if she leaves, but it’ll be worth it.

“You’re safe. As long as you’re here with me, you’re safe. I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” I whisper into her hair. A mass sits on my chest, and I doubt I’ll be able to breathe normally until the day comes when she doesn’t need to be scared.

“I know.” Two simple words fill my heart. If it weren’t for the seething pain in my heart, I’d be floating to the clouds right now.

“Austin?” Her voice is small.

“Mmm?” I’m struggling to stay awake in this position, with my head resting on hers and her body like a warm blanket over me.

“You smell like horses and sweat.”

“I bet I do.” I laugh. “I’ll take a shower, and we’ll get you to bed. You’re sleeping here tonight. I’ll stay up and keep lookout so you can rest easy.”

In a testament to how scared she is, she simply nods. Part of me hopes he’s stupid enough to come here tonight. I’d love to release the pent-up rage rooted in my stomach from her confession. The other part of me doesn’t want her to ever have to see his face again.

I tread to the bathroom and turn on the water. With any luck, a cold shower will help wake me back up enough to sit by the window all night long.

“Austin?” Cecily’s voice accompanies a light tapping on the door.

I fling it open in a hurry. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s silly. Can I sit here while you shower?”

She’s asking because she’s afraid to be alone, but my cock really seems to think it’s for other reasons. And the sudden friction in my pants only contributes to my inappropriate thoughts.It might be safest if we shower together.Fucking hell.

I manage to force out an appropriate response instead. “Yeah, of course.”

She sinks to the floor just outside the bathroom and I shake my head. “Don’t sit on the floor. Just… either I can leave the door open and you go back out there or you can sit right in here.”

“Okay.” She sits down on the closed toilet seat and places her hand over her eyes. “Okay, go ahead. I promise not to look.”

My wobbly fingers take longer to unbutton my shirt than normal, but eventually, I’m down to my boxers in the small bathroom. Less than three feet away from her. As I hook my thumbs on the waistband, the solitary thought crossing my mind is,fuck, she could choose to open her eyes at any moment.The idea of her discreetly watching—seeing me completely naked—brings my semi to a full erection before my boxers have even hit the floor.

“You can open your eyes,” I say from behind the shower curtain.

Despite the massaging way the water pelts against my sore muscles, this is the least relaxing shower I’ve ever taken. It’s a struggle to focus on anything other than the gorgeous woman on the other side of the curtain, her motherfucking abusive husband, and the poorly timed boner that needs to go away. Especially because I can’t do a single thing I want to do about those problems right now.

When the cold water’s finally worked well enough that I can get out without sporting a towel tent, I wrap a navy towel around my lower half and step out from behind the curtain. Her eyes drift across my body like a phantom touch before settling on my chest.

“Jesus Christ. Is that… a brand?” She shoots to her feet and her fingers are suddenly on the faded scar. Tracing the “rafter W” mark cautiously, as if handling a fresh wound. Causing a flurry of sparks to shoot across my body. As badly as I’ve been craving her hands on me, I’ve been hoping it would be under different circumstances.

“Told you I had first-hand experience.”

“I thought you were just messing with me.Wow. It’s a bit unhinged, but also pretty badass. How much did it actually hurt?” Her eyes flick up to meet mine, but she doesn’t remove her hand. My skin feels like it’s being seared all over again under her soft, warm touch. If I had known she’d react this way, I would’ve ditched my shirt weeks ago.

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