Page 20 of Alive and Wells

I take a deep breath filled with dread, knowing that what I’m about to say isn’t the answer she’s hoping to hear. “I’m getting my bearings and figuring out what I want to do. I don’t know if I want to come back to the city.”

“I recognize you’ve gone through a lot, but running off into the wilderness is not the answer. You are not Reese Witherspoon inWild. Come home. I spoke with your aunt and she said we can’t file for divorce until you’ve been separated for a year. But we can try to get you a protection order, so KJ can’t bother you.”

I already know I can’t get divorced right away. I managed to at least look that up before leaving him.

“Mom. Thank you for talking to her, but I’m honestly great where I am right now. I was only calling to let you know I’m okay.”

“Cecily—”

“Mom, please. I swear you’ll be the first to know if I’m not happy here. I’m thirty, not three. I can make my own choices.”

I hear her fingernails drumming on a hard surface—likely the living room end table where they keep the house phone. “You’ve kept us in the dark long enough. If you’re staying there, I want frequent updates. Even if it’s a darn thumbs up via email.Please. I’m tired of worrying about you, Cecily.”

Fuck.That makes me feel like the world’s worst daughter… and I suppose I probably am. “I’m sorry. Promise I’ll keep you guys in the loop from here on. I really am doing great, though. I’m happier here than I’ve been in a long time. I have friends, I’m gardening…I helped brand cattle.”

She laughs. “Youwhat? Cecily, I think your dad—”

“Mom. Seriously. I’m happy here.”

“Okay, well… as long as you’re happy. We love you.”

“Love you.”

Twenty minutes of family gossip pass before I convince her that I need to get some sleep. After hanging up, I find myself staring at Austin Wells’s contact profile with a fluttery feeling. I examine the number until I lose focus and, when I blink to bring my vision back, I’m left staring at my own reflection on the black screen. It seems immature to text him when I can look out my window and see his house. This isn’t middle school. I could just walk over there and talk to him—although that would probably only get me a series of grumbles and grunts back. I don’t even know what I want to say to him, in person or via text.Jesus, I’m pathetic.The last thing I need a month after leaving my asshole husband is to develop a crush on my asshole boss.Right?

10

Austin

Berylplunksdowninthe chair next to my desk, tossing a stack of mail down and sliding a mug over to me. “Just made a fresh pot and thought you’d like some.”

I eye the cup suspiciously. She rarely hand delivers the mail after grabbing it from our post office box in town. And Berylneverdelivers coffee. If I had a dollar for every time she’s told me “you have two feet and a heartbeat” when asked to bring me something I need, I’d be able to hire somebody to bring me coffee daily. Which means she’s up to something.

“Ready to apologize?” She tosses her long, grey braid over her shoulder with a smile.

There it is.“For?”

“You were wrong about Cecily.”

I huff. “What makes you think that?”

“You would’ve fired her if it weren’t the case. Instead, I heard you took her to town, and bought her some pretty things.”

“She refuses to drive a truck, and I needed supplements, so I let her ride along. I paid because she needs to keep her money to fix her tires. Once she gets those, she can drive her own damn self around.”

“Oh, honey.” She leans over to rub my forearm. “Either you’re blind or you’re a fool.”

“That so?”

“You know she’s nothin’ like Savannah, don’t you? They’re different people.”

Savannah came here because she needed away from her controlling, hateful parents. She wanted to do things her own way, rather than follow the path they set out for her. She ditched her fancy English riding for Western, taught me how to organize the ranch’s finances, and made me fall in love. She inserted herself into so many aspects of the ranch; I assumed she planned to stay. The moment I decided to make things official, she spooked. Never looked back.

There were other girls before her that blew through here on a summer breeze. Losing them hurt, but Sav killed. She felt different from the others. Cecily feels different, too. And I don’t have the energy to go through losing someone again. I’d rather run before I have the chance to fall.

I avoid the question. “You and Kate need something better to do with your time.”

She chuckles. “Probably true. Am I often wrong, though?”

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