Page 39 of Free Me

15

Blake

WatchingStefwithBenji,listening to what they said and how they said it, had been inspiring and eye opening, and my chest is still bursting with pride and affection… and possibly something a bit more than that. It was clearly an emotional conversation for Stef as well. We take a few minutes for them to collect themselves, touring the succulent room, then exit out the side and head for my SUV. Stef plays navigator to a cafe I’ve heard about from Quinn and Tadhg. It’s where they want to go, and that’s enough for me.

I pull into the parking garage, take my ticket and park in the first available space. Stef is fully back to themselves, all smiles and excitement to show me this wonder of wonders that I’ve somehow never experienced. We get out of the car and walk toward the stairwell. “You enjoyed the conservatory?”

Stef slots our fingers together, swinging our hands between us. “I had the best time. And I truly do want to go there again. I totally see the appeal.” We push through the heavy stairwell door and descend the steps to street level. “So, you’ve honestly never been to Love ’n Cup?”

“Nope. When Tadhg lived with me, he sometimes brought home pastries from there, and a few times when I picked him up from work, he had a coffee for me, but I’ve never actually been inside.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat. I love it.” Stef squeezes my hand. “Oh! Did you know Jocelin lives around here? I think it’s a few blocks that way.” They point south. “He’s always at Love ’n Cup. We might even see him.”

While I enjoy working and hanging out with Jocelin, I hope he’s not at the cafe. I want today to be about me and Stef getting to know each other. We’ve spent a lot of time in each other’s company, but we always kept things impersonal, never really talking about ourselves or our families or likes and dislikes. I want to know everything about them, and having friends around would change the dynamic. Yes, it’s selfish, but we both deserve a bit of that. “Would you be upset if I said I’d rather have you all to myself?”

Stef glances up, wide-eyed, a small smile on their face. “Oh. No, not at all. That’s actually incredibly sweet.” They blush and pop a quick kiss to my cheek. “And I feel the same.” We stop at the next corner. “Let’s cross here.” Stef pushes the crosswalk button and bounces on their toes excitedly. When the walk signal blinks, they practically race across the street, tugging me along, and I have to jog to keep up. An excited Stef is an energized Stef. We turn north, and I can see the Love ’n Cup sign halfway down the block. “C’mon!” Stef tugs me the rest of the way.

An overwhelming rush of affection fills my chest, and I’m so glad we’re doing this. Before Stef can reach for the handle, I pull them back and wrap them in my arms. “I’m having the best day with you.”

They lean in and brush their lips against mine in a sweet, gentle kiss, making my chest squeeze even tighter. “I’m having the best day with you, too. Thank you for this.”

“There’s nothing to thankmefor. Spending time with you is pure selfishness on my part. I’m the one who should be thankingyou.”

Stef’s smile is euphoric, and with one final peck to my lips, they turn and open the door, taking my hand and leading me inside. Their eyes are glued to me as I look around. We’re here at an off hour, so the place isn’t packed, but there are a few customers sitting in cozy leather chairs and one eating at a high top table. The whole place has a warm feel and it doesn’t take long to understand why my brother and our friends love this place. I knew it was an LGBTQ+ cafe, but this is beyond anything I imagined. “Michael McConnell and Jack Baker, James Baldwin, Lorraine Hansberry, Marsha P. Johnson.” I name a few of the portraits on the wall, amazed at the diversity of queer representation. “Oh, wow. AIDS quilt photos.” I walk toward the beautiful art that’s a painful reminder of a horrendous time in our collective history. “I was Benji’s age when all of this was happening. By then I knew I was queer, though I didn’t have a name for it. I just knew I liked boys and girls in the way most of my friends liked only girls. I also remember hearing on the news about AIDS, and how certain people said it was retribution for being gay.” Stef squeezes my hand, and I take a breath, letting the tension go. “Sorry. Nothing like throwing a wet blanket over our date.”

“Nope, not possible. That was an awful time, and that’s exactly why we need reminders like this. It happened. It was horrible. We lost people. But the community survived. We also can’t let it happen again.” They hug me in a way that feels incredibly present and mindful, like we’re observing a moment together for those the community lost, and gratitude for how far we’ve come. “I’m sorry you had to deal with any of that, but I’m glad you’re here with me now.”

I kiss the side of their head and hug them tightly. “I promised you something chocolaty and decadent. You ready?”

Stef’s eyes sparkle with excitement. “Yes! Let’s see what Bill has today.”

“Bill?” I follow them over to the pastry case and peer inside.

“Bill Baker. He’s the pastry chef and manager.” Stef tries to see over the case into the back. “He’s normally here on the weekends, but maybe he’s off today with his boyfriend.”

A deep chuckle precedes the appearance of an extremely tall, tremendously muscular man with two full sleeves of tattoos. In direct contrast with his intimidating appearance, he has a hairnet on his head and one over his facial hair. He pulls both off, letting his long black braid tumble down his back and uncovering a full beard and mustache. “Unfortunately, Duncan’s workin’ this weekend, so I’m here mindin’ the store for Georgiana.” His voice is deep and there’s a definite southern drawl to his words. “She and Amanda went out of town for the weekend.” He extends his hand to Stef. “Hey, Stef. How are you?”

“Good. We were at the Volunteer Park Conservatory and decided to stop for something sweet.” They gesture to me. “Bill, this is Blake.”

It’s not lost on me that Stef doesn’t provide Bill with any context for our being here together. Do they not want to share that information, or are they not sure how to label us? “The conservatory is a beautiful place. Welcome Blake. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Bill. And I agree. The conservatory’s gorgeous. And this is a perfect place to keep our date going.” Stef’s grin tells me I didn’t screw up, and when they lace our fingers together, I give them a gentle squeeze. With my free hand, I gesture to the pastry case. “Everything looks incredible. What do you recommend?”

Bill grins and puffs up his chest a bit, but there’s also a hint of pink on his mostly covered cheeks. It’s unexpected and utterly charming. “Do you have any food allergies to consider?”

“Nope. And I’m up for trying something other than a chocolate chip cookie or a brownie.” The pleased grin on Bill’s face tells me I gave another right answer.

He points into the case. “Now, on the top row here, we have a lavender-honey lemon tart. Those are candied lemons and homemade meringue on top. Right next to it are the strawberry-cardamom turnovers. And on the middle shelf we have a blood orange tart with a salted pecan crust. Next to that are the dulce de leche stuffed churro puffs, and next to those are the homemade beignets. The rest are your standard brownies, cookies and cakes.”

I slip my arm around Stef’s waist and give them a squeeze. “What do you think?”

“I’ll have a mocha latte, a bottled water, and a piece of chocolate pound cake, please.” They turn to me. “What about you?”

“Hmmm.” I peruse the beverage menu for a minute. “I’ll have a cortado, a water, and a lemon tart, please.”

“Good choices.” Bill heads to the register, ringing everything up. As I reach for my wallet, Stef puts a hand on my wrist. “You paid for the conservatory, the gas and parking. I’ll get this.”

I could argue that the gas was negligible, the tickets were dirt cheap, the parking was reasonable, and I was the one to suggest getting something decadent to eat, but I don’t. If they want to do this, I’ll respect that. “Thank you.” I kiss their cheek.

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