Page 19 of Fake Christmas Date Cowboy

“It’s a long story, but basically I confused an adrenaline rush with love.”

A dark brow hitched up, disappearing under the brim of his well-worn hat.

“Ethan is an adrenaline junkie. Our first date was actually jumping out of a plane.”

Both brows hiked up. “Yeah? Sounds as though you’re a bit of an adrenaline junkie too.”

She shrugged. “I was doing it to prove that I could. He was doing it for the rush. There’s a difference.”

“That’s fair.”

She went on, “The entire way up—I won’t lie, I was peeing my pants in fear. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to jump or go through any of the motions of not dying to get back down to the ground. But I didn’t have much choice, did I?”

“There’s always a choice, Belle. But go on.”

Sunlight glittered on the icy branches they were riding beneath, making an archway of diamonds and sparkles to guide their way.

“Ethan saw my nervousness and talked me through it all. When he suggested that we jump together, of course it sounded better than dying alone. Looking back, I’m not so sure.” She shook herself mentally. “When we hit the ground, I was just so full of emotions that I threw my arms around him and kissed him. Within two weeks, I told him I loved him—now I want to barf over that. I can’t believe I actually thought that way.”

She waited for judgment from Declan, but none came. He simply rode beside her, offering a solid, strong presence that soothed her.

“He kept pushing me more and more to do adrenaline rush stuff.” She sucked in a deep breath. “That’s how I confused the excitement of surviving…with love.”

He gave her a sharp look. “That doesn’t sound good, Belle.”

“Oh, it isn’t. And it only took me about ten grand in therapy bills to be able to say that.”

“Jesus, honey. I’m sorry.”

“My therapist gave me a response for that too. I was vulnerable, and he saw that and preyed on it.”

“Motherfucker.”

She drew up at the harsh curse from Declan. That he’d harbor any anger on her behalf was…well, hot.

Now that she’d started, she needed to get the rest of the story out. Why she felt compelled to confess any of it to a virtual stranger, she had no clue.

“In the end, he suggested that I do something…criminal.” She pitched her voice low.

His golden-brown eyes sparked like fire along a steel blade. “Tell me.”

A small shiver rolled through her at the hard command in his tone.

“I won’t tell you what he wanted me to do. Only that I now know how narcissistic he is. How he gaslighted me and twisted things to heap guilt on me. When I refused, he withheld love. He refused to speak to me or spend any time with me. Then he’d come back and shower attention on me.”

“Love bombing? He fucking love bombed you to manipulate you into doing his dirty work?” He jerked his head forward, the tendon in his jaw taut with the tension of him gritting his teeth.

She nodded. “When I didn’t bend, he repeated the cycle.” She sucked in a deep breath of clean, fresh mountain air to wash away those memories and purge the vile man from her mind.

The awfulness of it all wasn’t so easily chased away, though. Especially when she was forced to be around the man and his terrible fiancée who she hated with just as much passion.

The worst was recalling Ethan’s pillow talk. The last thing she wanted was to replay those moments. How they’d be in the middle of sex and he’d say things.

Like “wouldn’t it be amazing if we robbed a bank?”

The answer to that wasno. Absolutely not.

Any more words died on her lips. Oh god, how could she be so stupid? Now she saw it.

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