Page 38 of Whispered Surrender

I read his message for the third time and try my hardest to get back into the game. I may have been with a bunch of men over the years, and I have not regretted our time together, but I have always wanted to hold back, to give something unique to that special someone. A shiver runs down my spine at the thought of giving Jay something so intimate. I wanted to save it for the person that I would be with forever, but what if I don’t have a forever with my perfect someone, what if it’s only now?

I ponder this as the next hand is dealt and the game continues. Jay’s team has made Serena feel very comfortable, and for that I am grateful. She is enjoying the game and laughing at the security team’s antics as we play. The entire platters of food we brought in have disappeared, and I shake my head, wondering where they put it all, but they are all large virile men, and I have no doubt that they wear it off.

The hand is over, and the men get up, stretch, and begin to watch the overhead screens with interest. “Jay, we’ve got a little company when we land,” someone says.

“Scramble the flights again and get the men on the ground,” Jay says, lifting me as he stands. “Call me if you need me,” he says, walking with me out of the room, through the main cabin, into the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him, and placing me onto the bed in front of him.

“I think tonight is the night that I claim you for my own. Spread your legs for me,” Jay says as his cell phone rings. He answers it in one swipe, irritated. “Jay here, what do you need?” he says.

He pauses, and his face goes pale as he listens, glancing back to me. “Fuck me,” he says.

27

JAY

My phone ringsand I see the caller. I’m annoyed at the intrusion, but I need the intel about Sasha. The thought that she may be a Russian Mafia spy gleaning information from her position in the ballet troupe is weighing heavily on my mind.

“What do you need?” I say.

“Intel just came back. This is so much more than we thought. She’s not a spy; we think that she’s the granddaughter of the fucking Russian Mafia. We need to get blood work and DNA nailed down.”

“Fuck me,” I say, trying to process what I have just heard as she lies on my bed in her silky nightie with fuck-me heels still on. If she was working to get intel from the Chicago Family, which is what I thought may have been going on, I could understand, given her hate for her real father, but that is clearly not what’s happening here.

I turn from her and walk out the bedroom door and into the main room, which is still thumping with music I put on earlier. “You need to get blood types and details and have them into my hands by morning. Her DNA matches identically to Bernatelli. She’s his daughter, we got the information from Matt, and that’s how I was able to make the deal and get them to back off. Get a team to work on this all night,” I say, disconnecting. How can she be Bernatelli’s but related to the Russian Mafia also? What a damn mind fuck!

I walk back into the room, and she’s still waiting for me, and those smoky blue fuck-me eyes are watching me intently. I want nothing more than to claim this woman like no one else has ever done. I will not take something that’s so special to her, that she has not given to any of her previous lovers, until I am completely sure what the hell is going on. The Italian Mafia, who I now work for in a roundabout way, does not play nice with the Russian Mob, and I need to fully understand where she stands in this family puzzle.

“You want my ass?” Sasha asks.

I exhale my breath and my dick twitches. Fuck yes!

“Who wouldn’t want your ass? It’s gorgeous,” I say, closing the door behind me.

“So it’s just a physical conquest to you,” Sasha says, looking up at me with those baby blues, and fuck, I hate this, but she’s just given me the perfect reason not to take her ass tonight without telling her the real reason. I can’t claim her in all good consciousness until I know that she is mine to claim.

“Angel, I won’t take your ass until I know for sure that we’ll be together long term. It’s too special that you’ve saved it, and I want to take it when we’re both certain.”

I watch as the light in her baby blue eyes goes from sparkling with lust to hurt, and then the mask I’ve seen time and time again comes on.

“It’s for the best because I do want to save it for someone special, someone that knows in his heart that I’m his and that’s obviously not you,” Sasha says, sliding her legs over the side of the bed and leaning down to remove her shoes.

I swallow the lump in my throat because she’s all I ever think about, but just because I know I want her for my very own does not mean that it will be. There are too many unknowns, and I will not let her get attached any more than she already is until I know what we’re facing, and I have a plan.

She wiggles her red painted toes into the creamy carpet and looks at me still standing by the door. “Whatever this thing is that we had,” she gestures with her finger first to me and then to herself, “it just ended for the last time. You see, I am, too, what do you say, vested and I am not going to be that clingy girl that tries to hang onto someone that doesn’t want her. Now, if you don’t mind I’d like some time alone, please,” Sasha says.

I nod because I can’t say a fucking word right now or she’ll be in my arms, and I can’t do that to her. Instead, I turn and close the door behind me, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and the burning in my chest. I turn the music off in the main cabin and sink into a large comfortable chair and pick up my cell phone, thumbing mindlessly through all the photos I have of my beautiful angel, the one that I’ve just hurt for the very last time.

I type out a message to get that report done and back to me ASAP and look down at the incoming signal and sit up in my chair. Dammit, that’s all I need. I pick up the phone and connect to Matt.

“Hey,” he says laughing. “I just talked to Brian about the security plan.”

“What’s so funny! I’m not in the mood for Carrington’s shit,” I say.

Matt continues chuckling. “You knew he was going to go ballistic when he found out what the plan was.”

“I thought Chase talked to him,” I say, running my hand through my hair in frustration.

“He did, and he was all for it, but I don’t think he realized that would mean I wouldn’t be working directly for him anymore. You know how he gets over Jenny,” Matt says.

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