Page 89 of Oracle of Ruin

Lucius’s fingers halt on the strings as he sets the instrument in the grass beside him, his lips lifting in a charming smile. I allow myself to sit on the ground in front of him, settling on the blanket he left sprawled out.

His dark eyes close for a moment, his smile still morphing his mouth. “The weather is finally getting nice again,” he notes offhand.

I hum in agreement. It feels too soft and the sound is lost to the hum of insects in the air, not that I mind. My chest feels light as I gulp deep breath after breath to the point of dizziness.

Lucius laughs, a lovely sound. “Why are you breathing like that?”

“The air feels light.” I smile back, toothy and wide. “I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe in months.”

The prince’s smile falters for a moment. Had I blinked a second later, I would have missed it, but I didn’t and I don’t. Rocking back on my elbows, I tilt my head to the side, my bangs falling in front of my face.

Lucius reaches forward, hesitant, and pushes them back behind my ear. “I’ve missed this,” he murmurs.

“Me too.”

I don’t know why my words are tainted with sorrow, or why this yawning hole of loss begins to gnaw at my core. I’ve missed Lucius. Why have I missed him when he is right here?

“Do you think you could have fallen in love with me?”

His voice is low, but a rushing fills my ears. Two words echo in cacophonous refrain.My love.My love.My love my love my love my love.

It all boils down to love.

A splitting pain cleaves my memory open as the scent of blood and flashes of violet light resurface. That lightness in my chest fades all too quickly and the air clogs my lungs. Before I even realize it, I’m on my knees coughing, blood splattering on that soft, ivory-colored dress.

“No,” I hiss between blood-smothered lips.

“Why?”

“Because you killed her. You tried to killme.”

I do not know how many times I need to say the words before they stop sounding hollow. Before they stop stabbing my heart with their truth. Their existence.

“But if I didn’t have to, could you have loved me?”

The softness of his voice douses my body with cold shock. His tenebrous tone caresses my flesh like a lover, podding and questioning but hesitant. As if it, too, is holding their breath.

“I could have,” I admit, hardly noticing the silver tear plopping on my cheek until his thumb brushes it away. “If not for…”

Lucius’s face turns to stone and he finishes my thought, “If not for Rowan.”

“Don’t say his name like that.”

Surprise lights both our features at the teasing bite in my voice. It was supposed to be sharp and cruel, but comes out more like the gentle chiding of a lover.

Lucius smiles again and it reaches his eyes this time. There is something so soft and wonderful in it, my heart aches. “You know we aren’t that different, Verosa.”

“We are nothing alike.”

“Maybe not from your narration, no, but view it as an outsider, or from my perspective.” He is gentle and patient with his words, despite the buds of rage blooming in my chest. “I loved you, Verosa. And I still do, but I love my mother more. I sacrificed the person I love most in the living world for the person I love more than myself. To others, that sacrifice could deem me a hero.”

“You’re not a hero.”

“No, we aren’t. But what of the men you’re killing now for peace? The darkness you’re unleashing?” He lays my hand flat across his chest and lets me feel his heart beating beneath my palm. It is steady, yet quickens when our gazes lock. “Look into my eyes and tell me you wouldn’t damn this entire world for the ones you love. For your Rowan, or Tanja.”

A lush green aura drifts over my senses, calm and understanding that smothers the embers of anger threatening to burst into flames.

His face is youthful, no scarring or charred flesh like in my other dreams. This is the face of the boy I could have loved. Because yes, there was a time I could have loved Lucius.

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