Page 36 of Oracle of Ruin

Icicles sparkle in the midday sunlight, their frozen elegance gracing the branches of every tree we walk past, frost having frozen the moss on their trunks as well. The snow crunches delightfully beneath my feet, and despite the beauty of it all, nausea roils through my stomach.

I used to love the snow. Torin, Blaine, Tanja, and I used to wait by the library window every night leading up to winter, waiting for the first flurries to descend. We would burn through oil lamp after oil lamp, sneaking out with the help of my nanny, Tanja’s mother. She would leave hidden sacks of goodies such as cookies or jelly tarts among the bookshelves. The librarians eventually caught on and would bring milk of molten chocolate that they had conveniently gotten too much of from the cook. If Irene ever knew of our rendezvous, she didn’t say anything, which in itself was enough to make the first frost seem holy.

Until she ruined that too.

I can still remember the sting of the snow as it soaked my nightgown and froze my eyes open. Steam arose from my wound, the blood and flesh hot enough to melt a bit of the snow and ice, but not enough so to stop the hypothermia from setting in as the blizzard began again.

I’d read stories about monsters lurking after dark, how wolves can smell blood and search for the softest spots to attack. I was a child. I was easy prey, for both the wolves and my mother.

Blaine found me the next morning, and Tanja and Torin came to visit me, as well, while the healers did their best to save my young life. Torin’s mother often visited Blaine’s, and she allowed him to come into the palace despite the blizzard when news got out that the princess had fallen from a tower.

They all expected I would be afraid of heights, if anything, but it was never the fall that froze my senses with fear. No, the fall took me away from the horror. It was my mother waiting at the bottom, ready to leave me in the snow, that stopped my heart.

The frost came that next year, and when I pressed my face to the window like we had been doing for years, all I felt was cold dread.

That same dread settles deep in my stomach now as I stare down at the white powder. So clean, so pure, so evil. On instinct, I reach my hand out to hold onto… someone who is no longer here.

Mavis watches with feline curiosity, but says and does nothing. Neris kicks snow at Emi, who shrieks and throws a glob at the general’s face.

“No rocks,” is Mavis’s stern warning, but otherwise, she lets the two play.

The feared general of Mavis’s army, the queen of mercenaries’s wolf, playing in the snow with a freckled teenager while the world falls down around us. Thankfully, neither of them includes me in their game. I am especially thankful when Emi doesn’t heed Mavis’s warning and includes pebbles and sticks in her snowball, a stray rock cutting across Neris’s face. That puts an end to the game, and Emi is forced to carry the heavy sack the general has been carrying since we left the compound. She whines, to which Mavis launches into a long-winded speech on discipline, and Neris chuckles behind her hood.

We’ve been wandering for near two hours by the time I finally find my voice again. “Where are we going, and what the hell are we doing other than walking through a blizzard?”

Mavis groans and lolls her neck from side to side. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It is if I say it is.”

“Can you stop being a bitch for once and give me a straight-forward answer?”

“We are searching for someone, that’s all you need to know.”

I laugh mirthlessly. “You’ve brought me along to kill someone. Lovely.”

“I brought you here so you don’t killyourself,” she finally snaps. “So hold your tongue and keep walking.”

Even if I wanted to fall down into the snow and let it finally kill me, I know I cannot. Even if I tried, she would force my blood to pump through my heart and my feet to move. She has effectively stolen any agency, even the sweet kiss of death from me. My feet move against my will and I follow her into the dark and snow like an obedient dog at the heels of a wicked master.

Spindly icicles dangle dangerously from tree branches, the scent of pine and snow hanging thick in the air. I allow myself to breathe deeply, the cold chilling my bones with each breath. The others press on ahead, Emi occasionally tapping the cold spires without the slightest flickering of fear across her face.

Tentatively, I reach out and wrap gloved fingers around the tip of one. The pointed mound breaks free from the branch and spirals downwards towards me. I shriek, stumbling back. Neris hides a chuckle and Emi sticks her tongue out, but I only stare at my hand.

I grabbed it. I wasn’t thrown into it or forced down.Igrabbed it.

No panic attacks. No remembrance of the howling wind or freezing snow. Any fear caused was from the jarring motion of the fall and not the ice itself. Pride swells in my chest, though the others only continue their walk.

Leaning forward, I scoop a fistful of snow into my hands, then throw the snowball as hard as I can at the back of Emi’s head.

Chapter18

Rowan

Torin meets us outside just as he said he would, cloaked in midnight, illuminated only by starlight. He lowers his hood with a gloved hand, revealing his messy blond hair with the roots grown out. Dark circles crown his undereyes, but he still nods with a smile, allowing a bit of warmth onto his face. The three companions that flank his sides do not spare the same courtesy of allowing us to see who they are.

Blaine embraces the Nevan man, patting him firmly on the shoulder as they part. I follow suit, leaving my hood up as well.

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