Page 100 of The King's Queen

“-ego and crush it by not showing up.” She pokes at my side. “Get your mind out of the moat, Vera.”

She laughs as I push her over lightly while cringing and fanning at myself. Now that I know what it’s like to have his disgusting tongue in my mouth, I don’t need that image as fuel for my nightmares.

Tanja settles herself under my covers, her chestnut curls splayed out across my pillow like molten gold, each amber shade reflecting in the candlelight. She looks every part the image of a goddess. She holds out her arms, and I crawl into them, our limbs entangling as if we never have to part. As if this might not be the last time I ever see her.

“I wish I could be here for your wedding,” I whisper. Tanja brushes her nose against mine.

“Maybe we will do a destination wedding. Get married legally here and hold the ceremony wherever you wind up.”

“You’d do that?”

My friend hums and burrows in closer, her arm draped across my waist in some form of half hug. My body aches in response to the grief of knowing this is the last night like this.

“Of course. You’re like my sister, Ver. I can’t get married without my maid of honor.”

Tanja’s face tells me she doesn’t expect a response, not that I have one to offer, anyway. My throat constricts as I swallow a small sob. To think there was once a time I doubted if she’d stand by myself without the crown. Here I am, the night I walk away from it all, and she still chooses me.

My voice cracks as I finally speak, and I can’t find it in my heart to care. “I wish you would come with me, but I know that would be just as bad as someone forcing me to stay here.”

“Aw, you’re growing up.” Tanja teases, but I can see the well of emotions blooming from within her as well. She bites her tongue and dips her cheek as the first few tears slip through. We cling to each other tighter, dreading the rise of the sun.

“Hey, I love you.”

Tanja laughs. “Yeah, I know.”

For the first time in my life, I wish that night would last forever. Somewhere from within the dark, Tanja rests her head on the crook of my neck. “I love you too, Ver.”

Despite the ache in my chest and the tears wetting my cheeks, I feel oddly at peace. The pain of leaving the only place I’ve known and those I love rips my soul to shred, but this place can never be for me again. I need to live my life for the first time in twenty years.

I’ve made my peace with all but one now. The one who hated this idea the most. The one who I fell out of love with at the wrong time.

Some time in the quiet dark, I slip off to sleep.

My room feels strange as I awake, foreign in some way. The large canopy bed is empty, though the impression of a person’s body is tucked close to mine in the sheets. When I sit up, I notice the oil lamp burning on my bedside table, which is not where I left it before I fell asleep.

I should feel alarmed, I should be confused. I should be anything but calm, yet I’m quite content and at ease. A figure steps out from the shadows, and I grin in recognition.

Blaine sits on the edge of my bed, his face pinched with light worry as it always is whenever I am involved. He pats my knee as he sits with this look that says prepare for a verbal smackdown.

“Do I get to know what I’ve done wrong before you set into me?”

“Take a guess.”

I hum and place a finger on my chin as if in deep contemplation. Blaine swears under his breath, but I see the laughter he is trying so hard to conceal. I am too happy to see him to care.

“Is it because I didn’t miss you enough? Because I promise I’ve missed you this much.” I say throwing my arms out like a child. Blaine shakes his head, his loose dark curls falling into his eyes. Carelessly, I brush them away. “Is it because I fell out of love with you?”

“That’s not your fault. It’s because you’re guilty and stubborn.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re insufferable-“

“Oh, shut up Blaine, as if I haven’t heard that before.” Anger burns in my blood. He disappears without any warning, and the first thing he does is tell me off? I nearly scoff. I suppose some things never change despite my praying that they would.

“You’re loud and have no respect for authority.” He continues despite my driveling protests. “You’re entitled, spoiled, and a downright disagreeable person. But you stick to your beliefs and won’t let anyone belittle you. You push everyone around you to be better because you see the best in everyone.”

“And look where that got me,” I mumble into my pillow, cringing at how pathetic this all is. I chose this path for myself. This is the first choice I’ve made for myself in years, and it is the one threatening to tear me apart.

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