Page 51 of The King's Queen

I can’t find it in myself to drop him, to let him rest in the arms of the Laei. So I hold him. And weep bitterly. As if, by mourning him wholeheartedly enough, my tears can wash his blood from my hands. As if some blessing of my blood I could heal him. But I had checked, and he bled silver. I could only poison him further.

Chapter20

Verosa

I’m not sure how long I sat there and cried, nor do I know when the rain started. Only that it did. At some point, I think I hear a wolf howl in the distance, but I only held the boy closer and pray that it will kill me too. His family deserves something to bury.

One large hand rests on my shoulder, the other clamps down on my mouth. I nearly scream, but a pitiful croak emits instead.

“Don’t make a sound, there could be… oh.” My heart stops pounding. That voice. Devoid of any charm or clever banter, all replaced by dread and tiredness. Nevertheless, I know that voice. I look up to find Rowan staring down at me with something like the fading of fear and newfound relief in his eyes. Until sympathy overpowers them both.

“I- I killed him.”

“Vera… oh, fucking hell!” Rowan jumps back as I keen over and vomit all over his shoes. I sink to my knees, retching in the filth and blood of my sin. I close my eyes, but he’s there, his lifeless eyes staring back into mine. I can see his soul draining from him, all because of me. I stole his life. I murdered him.

“Murderer. Murderer!” I cry out, sobbing into my hands. My chest is tight, my face streaked with dirt and blood.

“Vera.” Rowan sinks down with me, ignoring my pool of bile. “Look at me.”

I can’t. The metallic scent of blood hangs thick in the air. It clings to me. It knows what I did. My balled fists shake uncontrollably at my side when I feel one of Rowan’s hands close over both of them. His other hand is holding me up by my shoulders, and I feel his pulse through his grip.

“Look at me,” he commands, and this time I oblige. Gone is his all-knowing smirk, his eyes shrouded but soft. It’s the most vulnerable I’ve seen him. That alone scares me.

Slowly, he brings my fists to my chest, holding them above my heart. It beats a little quicker, but it’s as sure as ever. I begin to shake harder now, but Rowan won’t let me fall. That boy a few feet away from me, he had a heartbeat too.

“I murdered him.”

“No. You survived.”

“But I still killed him!”

“And he would have killed you with no such regret.” His eyebrows furrow in fervor, and I notice he grips me a bit tighter now, with newfound conviction. It’s as if his own words are sinking in for him. I’d almost died. Somehow that fact had been lost on me.

“It should have-“

“Don’t,” he growls, gripping my shoulders so tightly I cry out. His hands immediately drop to his sides. “Don’t say it should have been you. Don’t you ever think for a second that it would be better that way.”

He says it with such ferocity that my heart begins to slow, and by some miracle, I start to believe him. My sight begins to focus again, drifting towards that boy. That body. The mist starting to rise from it, when Rowan’s fingers hook under my chin.

“Don’t look.” he whispers. His voice tender yet still holding that same commanding presence. So I don’t. I look at him instead. I’ve never noticed before how green his eyes truly are, dashing emerald swirling with chartreuse eddies and whorls of shamrock. Deep golden flecks highlight in speckles along his iris, and if I look hard enough I can see tinges of deep blue warming the depths of his gaze. My gaze drops to his sturdy and straight nose, his strong jawline and chilled cheekbones. A light and faded scar grazes right below his ear down towards his neck, and I shudder to think of what could’ve caused it.

Incidents like tonight perhaps, I muse once I notice he’s bleeding. A deep gash along his forearm drips crimson blood, tinged with gold and…

Silver.

“You… you’re a…”

“Hybrid. Yes.” He breathes, his smooth voice crystallizing in the air in front of us. My fingers ghost the wound where both silver and gold blood trickle forth. Hybrid. Rowan is a Hybrid.

Hybrids who are illegal due to their mostly unknown abilities. Hybrids are more powerful than the blessed and the cursed because they had the body of the blessed, the mind of the cursed, and no such boundaries that withhold them from practicing dark magic. Everything suddenly makes sense.

“Does it scare you?” he whispers.

I pause for a moment, then look up at him with a smile. “No.”

Rowan’s shoulders sag, and his jaw unclenches. His hands fall heavy by his sides, and he lets his eyes close. With staggering steps, he takes my hands and guides me further through the forest.

“Are the rebels…”

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