Page 30 of The King's Queen

“Rowan, think clearly here. You said it yourself that none of us can go, and we need this information if we ever want to stop her or your father. She’s ready, I’ve seen her fight. Kya can stay right outside the bar while I cover the exits.”

“We are not debating this. She’s not going, end of story.” Images of the first night I met her flood my mind, specifically the ones where she almost died because of me. It may be a part of our deal, but I will not put her in that danger again. Not until she’s ready and willing,

“Will you stop thinking with your dick!” Amír whirls on me in a fury as I go to leave the room. “If you hadn’t so royally fucked up with your last girlfriend, I wouldn’t have to send this one in to clean up the mess.”

Something in me snaps, whether at the way she speaks of Vera or mentioning my past with Mavis, I don’t know, but a fist of rage squeezes my heart as I advance on my second. Amír, much to her credit, doesn’t balk.

“You do not speak of her like that.”

“No, you do not like how I speak of her, but I will do it anyway because it’s what you need to hear. You brought her here and put all of our lives in danger, so now she’s going to help bring us out of it.”

“And what if this was Kya?” My second in command doesn’t even blink as she glares at me steely eyed and gets closer to my face.

“I would let her go. Because while she’s my girlfriend, she’s also a soldier and knows her duty. Just like Vera does.” A fine mist of spittle hits my face as she speaks unapologetically. “You’re letting your feelings for her cloud your judgement, just like they did with Mavis.”

“I don’t-.”

“Then send her into the field.”

“Fine.”

The slam of the door echoes in my wake as I leave Amír to fume alone in the study. A candle snuffs out as my cape billows over it, and with a light curse I fumble in the dark for a match. The flame sizzles then sparks as a hand far gentler than mine kindles it before falling back to her side. I had nearly forgotten that Vera had followed me from the palace tonight, my mind was so muddled with other thoughts.

The noble clutches at a bruising arm, and her hair clings to her forehead, damp with sweat. Yet she carries an elegance about her even now, with a victorious smile placed firmly on her lips.

“I managed to knock Kya off her feet while you were gone. Don’t worry, she got me back.” She laughs softly, jutting her chin in the direction of her bruise. “Don’t tell Amír. She might skin me alive.”

“You and me both.” I mumble under my breath.

“What was that?”

“We have to talk about something.” I nod my head towards a simple couch in the center of our makeshift living room. She falls heavily against it, letting the cushions bear the weight of her fatigue. Lolling her head to the side, she elicits a low groan before covering her mouth with her hand.

“Sorry, that wasn’t very ladylike.”

I laugh.

“Do you think I gave a single damn about if you act like a lady?” She shakes her head fervently. “Good, because I don’t. None of us do. But…” I trail off, staring at a random splinter on the wall across from us, Amír’s words ringing through my head still. I hate how much it bothers me and hate even more that they were true.

None of us would be in this position if I hadn’t trusted Mavis, hadn’t fallen for her. Granted, we would probably be in a new sort of trouble, but none worse than this.

“You’re not thinking ahead,”she’d say.“Use the brain in that pretty little head and think. If your enemy is five steps ahead, you need to be six.”

But what if your enemy is miles ahead instead and knows your deepest secrets?

“-owan. Rowan?”

Vera. She reminds me so much of her before everything went south, and yet the two couldn’t be more different. Both share that fiery disposition, their desire to be greater than those around them. Neither are afraid to work or be dirty to achieve their goals. And yet if Mavis had seen me in that alley at first glance, she would’ve turned the other way and not lose any sleep over it. Mavis would’ve cut the heart out of her fiancé rather than run. She always has been the type to face her problems head on, and often with violence. Vera, though, she tried to save a stranger, naive that it may be. She is kind to the servants when we are in the palace and speaks softly to the horses.

Yes, she’s an intolerable spitfire at best and a downright spoiled, prejudiced brat at worst, but there’s something gentle in her soul that is missing from Mavis’. She is a paradox in and of herself, an ocean of fire, like seeing the moon in broad daylight. I’ve seen her sock a man in the throat then cry because she stepped on a lizard. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand her.

“I’m going to need you to act like a lady for one night,” I amend, pulling out the map Amír and I were just pouring over. “We have a hit that is going to take place in Ira. It’s a scouting mission, gather intel and get out.”

“Ira, isn’t that-“

“Enemy territory? Yeah, I know. That’s why I can’t go, and neither can Kya or Amír.”

“Will you send Derrín then?”

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