Page 116 of Love… It's Messy

“I can’t tell if you’re full of shit or the only man who says exactly what’s on his mind.”

“I can promise you one thing—the words out of my mouth will never be a lie. Now, skirting around the truth, that I can do. I have a way with words.”

“All right. Use your words. Tell me what you want from me. You said you don’t lie. Be honest.”

Fuck me.I was being called out on my own admission.

I placed the now-empty peel into the cooler and leaned forward. I didn’t want to scare her away, and yet she’d asked for the truth. If she couldn’t handle it, then I’d bring the boat back to shore and catch the next plane home.

“When I saw you last night, I thought you were the sexiest woman I’d ever laid eyes on. I wanted nothing more than to talk to you because you were attractive. Then, I got to know you a little, and I found myself smiling when I walked back to my room last night. I was daydreaming about you, fantasizing about getting to know you better—intimately even.”

Her eyes widened at my admission, but I kept going.

“Just as much as I find you attractive, I enjoy talking to you. You show confidence on the outside, yet I can see that uncertainty in your eyes. Last night, it was about work. Today, it’s about me. The thing that strikes me is that in either situation, you haven’t backed down. You never let people know how unguarded you are on the inside because you wear your brave face on the outside.”

A light breeze came through the air, pushing her hair off her shoulder. Her mouth was parted as she stared at me with cautious eyes. She didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure she knew what to say. I stood up and offered her my hand.

“Let’s go.”

Her soft, small hand slid into mine. “Where?”

“We’re gonna jump.”

She looked up at the cliff. “I don’t jump.”

“With me, you do.”

I didn’t know if it was my admission to her on the boat or the way she’d felt when I practically threw her off that cliff, but something had sparked in Jillian. She kissed me. Yes, she kissed me first. It was the greatest kiss of my goddamn life because it wasn’t just with her mouth. It was like her entire body was telling me she wanted me. Like she was giving me every ounce of that unguarded wall she kept erected and letting me tear it down brick by brick.

We made it back to the boat and kissed some more, talked some more, and on the way back to shore, I sang some more.

At the hotel, I canceled my flight and extended my room for one more day. When she left the rehearsal dinner she’d worked that night, I was waiting for her with a bottle of gin and chocolate cake. We drank and ate by the pool, sharing stories, laughing, sneaking kisses and cheap feels. I was falling hard for her.

I left her doorway a chaste man that night with a wide grin, whistling as I walked to the beach and filled that empty gin bottle with sand and headed back to my room.

I couldn’t wait to see her, but she was working a wedding, and I had to give her space.

Halfway through the reception, I slid into the room and kept my place by the bar. As she worked, I observed her from afar. A woman or two came up to me at the bar and introduced themselves. I wasn’t interested. I only had eyes for Jillian.

She was amazing. Organized, kind, and stern when need be. Her smile radiated when she spoke, and she managed to make a beachside wedding look like it was out of a movie.

When she passed, I touched her. When she looked, I grinned. And when she finally had a chance to step away, I danced with her. Under the stars, in the moonlight, I held on to the girl of my dreams.

When she asked me back to her room, I made love to her like a man who had finally found his way home. It was a cool night, so we opened the windows and let the breeze come in. We started with a kiss, and soon, our clothes were in a pool on the floor, and I had my thumbs kneading her perfect breasts and my fingers skimming against her clit, circling, as I placed featherlight kisses along her skin.

Her hands on me explored.

My mouth on hers savored.

I slid into her, and she whimpered. Our chests rose and fell in sync as our hips rolled with one another. Her breathing became my own, and I’d never felt more connected to someone in my entire life.

That was the past.

Now, I’m saddled with waiting for the results that can decide my future with the woman I love. Of all the places I could go to think, I chose my father’s front porch.

Today is one of my three weekdays off, and Jillian is back in Greenwood Village working. I asked to have Ainsley for the day, promising my father he’d get some one-on-one time with her. Peyton is inside with a home health aide, which means my dad can relax and enjoy his granddaughter.

“Pop!” Ainsley calls for him from the grassy area where she’s playing with a turtle he found for her in a nearby lake.

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