Page 44 of The Chosen Two

“Yup. I just like things done a certain way now is all.”

“I mean, I get that. I do, but do you know how many times I had to change the way I put my laundry away because you insisted on folding it while you were babysitting, and I couldn’t bring myself to refold it?”

She tilts her head and looks off toward the ceiling, remembering. “Yeah, that sounds like you should have been clearer with your expectations of me, which is ayouproblem, not ameproblem… Sorry!” She looks for an empty seat to set her basket on, temporarily forgetting that five extra asses are currently in her kitchen. At least mine is standing.

“Geez, who pissed in your cheerios this morning?” I turn to my progeny. “Kids, were you all horrible guests last night or something?”

They all do some form of denial, shaking their heads, shrugging, murmuring descent.

“No, no, no. They were all wonderful as always. I just talked to my mother a few minutes ago.” She finally gives up and sets the basket on the floor by the door to the garage.

“Oh, yeesh. I get it now. Sorry.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s fine. Whatever…”

“Oookay then. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nope!”

I nod. “Okay, so I’ll gather my children and be off then. Kids, are all your bags packed up?” Groans from everyone in the room, except Tabby, who is entirely too sweet for this world. “Come on. We can’t impede on Eliza’s life forever.”

They file out to get their stuff, Phoebe handing Tabitha off to me on her way by. “I get to hold the baby!” I coo at her chunky little face. Her big brown eyes crinkle as she lets out a deep belly laugh back at me. I sit down, still coochy-cooing her. I notice her hair is finally starting to grow in, a little darker and way curlier than Eliza’s. Must be from Rory’s side.

“So, how’d it go?” Eliza pours us each a cup of coffee and sits across from her round kitchen table, looking at me expectantly.

“Uh, probably should wait to tell you the details… Suffice it to say, I’m literally afraid to go home right now though.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I’m afraid of what state I’ll find my husband in, considering I punched him in the face before I left. I also haven’t ruled out the state of absentia…”

Eliza nearly spits her coffee back into her cup. “Miranda Gold! You did not!”

My only answer is to sheepishly hide behind Tabby. “He practically cheated on me!”

“What? In Vegas?” She slams her mug on the table, and coffee sloshes over the side. Her mouth still hangs open while she sops up the puddles with a paper towel.“No, actually, now that you mention it… I don’t know if he did in Vegas. Maybe that’s why going to strip joint here was so easy for him.”

“A strip joint? No way. Not Jake. You know how he feels about strip joints!”

I don’t know if I should nod along because I do know, or shake my head because obviously I don’t know anything, so I do a little of each and throw a hand up in the air while responding. “He got a private lap dance. Several nights in a row in fact.”

“Ok… That’s a really stupid move financially, but still not really cheating.”

“It was so he could get his rocks off when I denied his advances, because I was sick of his screwing me on the kitchen floor and the sore knees that come from it.”

“Sore knees? Oh! I mean I guess that’s a better choice than an ice cold back. That floor in your kitchen...”

“Not the point, Eliza!”

Somehow through all of this, Tabitha is still cooing. She distracts us from our topic just in time because less than a minute later, Sammy comes in. And I stand up, handing the sweet bundle of love back to her mom.

“We’ll talk later, Lize. Thank you for taking the kids last night. I really, really needed it.”

“I love you, Miranda.”

“Love you too, Lize.”

Sammy and I wait by the front door where I direct each kid in turn to thank their auntie and return to the door. Then we all file into the car to head home. I actually have to psych myself up to be able to turn the car on.

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