Page 30 of Room 810

“I am?” I’d barely said two words to anyone when I got here, just enough to find out where Toby was. But I’d been tired, so who knew what I’d agreed to.

“Mm-hm. I’m surprised you don’t remember. These were plans we made months ago.”

“Months?” I wracked my brain trying to figure out what plans we’d made, but I came up empty. “What is it? Where are we going?”

He was already crawling off me and headed for his closet. “Here, you’d better put this on.” He passed me a long length of patterned cloth, and I stared down at it.

“I wouldn’t even have a first clue about how wearing this is supposed to work.”

He gave me a mischievous grin. “Here, let me help you.”

It would’ve been faster to undress myself, but this was far more fun. As he removed one article of clothing as a time, he teased me mercilessly with his hands before he finally took me into his mouth, edging me closer to an orgasm but never bringing me to climax.

“Toby, you’re killing me,” I moaned when he left me standing there naked, his saliva cooling my skin.

“I want you good and distracted. Otherwise, you might get stage fright.”

My heart stuttered, my stomach lurching. “Did you say stage?” I had a quick flashback to a certain dance class, Toby’s hands on my hips, encouraging me to sway. Hadn’t he said something about a performance they had at the end of every month? Something about putting me on stage?

He quickly ducked down and sheathed me back into his mouth, the pleasure and the panic warring for dominance. It wasn’t much of a battle, though. When he swirled his tongue along the underside of my shaft, massaging my balls, any hint of fear was driven straight out of my mind. “I surrender,” I panted.

He rose to his feet again, wiping the corner of his mouth. “See? All better. You’ll be fine.” I gulped, panic slowly creeping back in.

He dressed me in the fabric he called a sarong, wrapped around my waist several times before being secured with a knot. He looked into my eyes and saw that he was losing me again, so he leaned in and kissed me slowly. “If you don’t want to do it, I won’t force you.”

I thought of what my life could be like here with Toby. He was so brave, nothing seemed to scare him, while every little thing left me on edge. I wanted to be brave for our child. “Do you think people can change?” I asked him softly.

He thought the question over, then nodded. “I do. I was a workaholic once upon a time, and I chose to let it all go.” He chuckled. “I may have overcompensated, but I’ve since learned that maybe a little bit of responsibility is a good thing. Maybe we’re always changing, until we finally find our perfect middle ground.”

“I like that.” Maybe Toby was my middle ground.

He took a deep breath, his chest rising with the breeze that seemed to bring with it the sound of laughter down on the beach. “There will be more storms, you know…” he said, a clear warning, not just for literal storms but for all the conflict that would arise.

“Then we will weather them together.” I laced my fingers with his and tugged him toward the door. “We’d better get going. We don’t want to miss my debut performance.”

18

Toby

Astheplanebeganits descent, my stomach clenched. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” I moaned, closing my eyes. There was a sheen of sweat forming on my forehead.

Gabe bent down and pulled his bag out from under the seat in front of him, rummaging through the pockets. “What do you need? I have gum, a water bottle, chewable ginger tablets, nausea bracelets… Maybe you could ask the doctor to prescribe something for nausea at the appointment later.” He turned his worried expression on me. “Or is it too late, should I just get a barf bag? I could rub your back. Would that help?”

This wasn’t morning sickness, though, nor was it from motion. It was good, old-fashioned dread. “Can you turn the plane around and take us home? This was a bad idea.”

“This wasyouridea,” he reminded me, taking my hand. “And… it was a good one. A necessary one,” he admitted almost regretfully, stoic as always. “If we hadn’t gone now, we would’ve had to wait until your pregnancy was over, and then we would’ve been traveling with a baby. It would’ve gotten more complicated.”

“Damn you and your logic.” I hadn’t been back to the States since I left, and coming back now brought a lot of emotions with it. Things I had worked long and hard to forget—grief and guilt and regret. He was right, though, it was necessary. We were making the trip so I could meet his family. He hadn’t seen them in years, so it was a much-needed visit for all of us. And while we were here, Gabe insisted I see a “real” obstetrician, instead of the doctor at the island’s clinic, who Gabriel said was too old and the island too remote for him to have learned anything new in the past ten years.

Traveling with Gabriel was amazing, though. I didn’t have to think about anything, because he’d taken care of every possible detail. He was a professional at this, after all. A planner by nature, he had predicted every outcome, no matter how unlikely. The only thing in his life he hadn’t been able to predict was me and this baby, but as soon as he’d learned of the pregnancy, he’d begun his research, and I swore he was halfway to being an obstetrician by now.

Which he proved at our doctor’s appointment.

“He had some water retention in his ankles, but I’m making sure he stays active for the length of the pregnancy. We walk, do yoga, swim—no surfing, though. And I’ve increased his intake of dark leafy greens—for the folate—and lots of whole foods and fruits and vegetables, with limited fish intake, because of the mercury.”

The doctor just nodded, his face slack. “Uh, yeah,” he finally managed to say once Gabriel stopped talking and looked at him expectantly. “Sounds like you’ve done your research.” His eyes flicked to mine, looking for help. I just shrugged. Personally, I loved the way Gabe took charge. Dr. Saber looked like he was nearing retirement age, with bushy white eyebrows, a kind smile, and a pair of thick-framed glasses. While Gabriel had been hoping for someone a little younger, Dr. Saber came highly rated, and most importantly, he had the necessary equipment—an ultrasound machine. “How about we get a look at that baby of yours,” the doctor finally said, steering the visit to something he could do for us that Gabriel hadn’t already done on his own.

“Please,” Gabe said, his giddy grin slipping through. While I’d made this trip to meet his family, this was the real reason he’d agreed to come. He couldn’t wait to see our baby, and I suspected this was his way of visually confirming they were okay in there.

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