Page 26 of Room 810

“Sorry, one more. You were blinking,” I told him—a lie, because I didn’t want to admit I was daydreaming instead. I quickly took the picture for them, then handed the phone back. “There, that’s a good one.”

“Thanks!” The woman flipped the phone around to look, then held it up for her alpha to see.

I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you two here on a holiday?”

“Uh, yes and no.” They shared a goofy look. “Yes, because we’re both on holiday, but no, we didn’t come together. We actually met in Amsterdam a few weeks ago, and we hit it off instantly. It was love at first sight.” Their smiles turned giddy. “We’re actually going to live together when we get back to the States. I’m from Indiana, but looks like I’m moving to Connecticut.”

“Wow!” I blurted, my eyebrows hiked up. “That’s a big change for having just met. You would uproot your whole life for him?” She frowned at me, and I realized it was too late to take that back. “Sorry, none of my business. I only ask because… well, I met someone and… you know. It feels too fast for big life-changing decisions like that.”

The omega’s smile softened. “I can’t tell you what the right decision is. Sometimes a fling is just a fling—and sometimes it’s more.” The way she shrugged then peeked up at her new man, it was clear their budding relationship was themoreshe was referring to.

I thought of Toby, his free-spirited nature and infectious laughter, and my heart skipped a beat. “And how are you so sure that the two of you aren’t just a fling, to the point of risking your stability?”

“We don’t. Maybe Jack and I will get married and have kids, or maybe we’ll move in together and drive each other crazy within a month. But my apartment is a rental, and my job is just a job; I’ll find a new one in Hartford. And maybe we won’t last, but how will we know if we don’t try?”

I nodded as if I agreed with her, but even as I wished them luck and bid them farewell, heading back toward the hotel, I wasn’t sure if I even understood her thought process. It seemed such a foreign concept, throwing yourself entirely into a relationship without knowing where it was headed. There were so many things that could go wrong. What if they broke up and she ended up homeless and jobless? I mean, the chances were slim but never none.

There was an especially high risk between someone like me and someone like Toby. He had the power to entirely wreck me, if I let him. He was like a hurricane all on his own, scattering my carefully built structure to the four corners of the earth. I could just imagine it now, me trying to eat my toast and coffee, while he shoved various dishes at me. And with Toby’s version of “island time”? I would never get anywhere on time with him by my side. If we were traveling together, I would miss every flight!

And yet… while being with him would cause no end of stress, he would just smile at me and I would begratefulfor the chaos. I could’ve easily spent another night with him, even another week or month. But forever?

Maybe. Probably.

No point in dwelling on it. Forever wasn’t even something he wanted. During those first weeks after I left the island, when Toby had been making up excuses to call me, I thought we might’ve been something more… but the last few times I’d called, he hadn’t answered, and when I texted, I’d been getting short one- or two-word replies. It was clear he had no interest in anything more.

He’d probably already moved on, doling out those sassy winks to some other alpha passing through, kissing someone else’s lips… Jealousy hit me like a punch in the gut.

I sighed, but the deep breath brought me no comfort. The weather in Paris was hot and humid today, but whereas the clear ocean breeze on Creston Cay was salty and fragrant with tropical flowers, there was zero wind here in the city center, the air stagnant, through the narrow streets. As I walked past a café, someone blew a cloud of cigarette smoke in my direction, and I coughed and waved a hand in front of my face.

A wave of an unfamiliar emotion ran through me, an ache that took me a moment to identify. The longing for a person and a place… it was homesickness.

Traveling hadn’t always been like this. I used to enjoy the act of planning out a trip. Plane tickets, with perfectly timed layovers, seating arrangements and meal choices. Train and metro maps, recommended attractions, every week somewhere new. Now? I didn’t want new. I wanted Toby.

Stepping through the glass double doors into the hotel lobby, I decided I would head up to my room before dinner and try calling Toby again. Maybe he would be in his office where the signal was better. Maybe he would answer today.

The hotel concierge saw me coming and greeted me, coming out from behind the desk to talk to me. “Bonjour, Monsieur Barclay. How was your day?”

“Fine,” I muttered, inching past him. I wasn’t in the mood to chat.

“Only fine?” he teased, offering me a charming smile. “Oh dear, is there anything I can do to upgrade that to good?” He was now following me toward the elevator.

“Did I say fine? I meant good.” I pressed the call button, willing the doors to open, but I must’ve just missed it. I glanced at the numbers over the door, slowly ascending. I pressed the button again for good measure.

Even though I refused to look at him, in what I considered a pretty obvious brushoff, the concierge kept at it. “Have you seen the Eiffel Tower? What about l’Arc du Triomphe?” I nodded, glaring up at the number, the elevator stubbornly stuck on the fifth floor. “Of course you’ve already been. You’re a professional traveler. How about the Tuileries Garden?La Musée d’Orsay? Tu as vraiment besoin de le voir.” He was so excited that he seemed not to have noticed he’d switched over to French halfway through.

The man was perfectly nice, and I was sure he was good at his job, but I didn’t want him to waste his energy on me today. I was a lost cause, when all I could think about were blue eyes, tousled blond hair, and sandy kisses. I couldn’t get away fast enough. “Excuse me, I need to go,” I said, then I spun on my heel and headed for the stairwell, jogging all the way up to the fourth floor, huffing and puffing to catch my breath, sweat making my shirt cling to my chest. I untucked the hem of my shirt and wrenched it off, buttons popping. I will still too hot, though, my heart beating too fast. It wasn’t exertion, though. It was panic.

It took me a minute to figure out what was happening. I was no stranger to panic attacks, but that was usually when something was wrong, something I couldn’t easily fix.

“I need…” I gasped, finding it hard to breathe through the tightness in my chest. “I-I need… Toby.” I fumbled with my phone, nearly dropping it in my desperation to see him, to talk to him. I didn’t know what I would do if he didn’t answer. It was just like during the storm, when I had this desperate need to see that he was okay, except now I couldn’t simply run through the rain to check on him. I was half a world away.

“Come on, pick up,” I muttered, pinching the bridge of my nose and focusing on my breathing. There was a click, a stutter, and my eyes flew open. “Toby!” I cried, louder than I had intended.

He smiled at me, but it was sad, with none of his usual light. Maybe it was just the poor connection, but it looked like there were deep creases beneath his eyes, like he hadn’t been sleeping. “Hey, Gabe. Long time no see.” His face was momentarily broken up into pixels, and his lips were out of sync with his words.

“Are you sick? You look awful.” Not the most polite greeting.

His laugh was like a soothing balm to my frayed nerves, and I felt myself relax as I dropped onto the edge of the bed behind me. “You charmer. I bet you say that to all the guys,” he teased.

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