Page 31 of Room 1212

“Yeah, what he said,” Lavender agreed. She looked up from where she was trailing a piece of yarn across the floor for Felix to chase. “What is that? A mountain?” she asked, squinting at the cover.

“Yeah, it’s a mountain, and there’s a castle over here. The lead character is a thief who is fleeing for his life and hides in a castle in the woods,” I explain.

Betty clapped her hands, getting excited. “Ooh! And then he finds himself a sexy lumberjack!”

“Or a bear shifter,” Davis added, grinning. “Is it one of those kinds of books?”

“No, it’s not either of those. He falls in love with a farmer.” Everyone was staring back at me, as if they were waiting for a punchline.

“And?” Davis said. “Ooh, I know! Hemilkshim!” he said, cackling in glee, making lewd gestures with his hands.

“What?! No!” I sputtered, simultaneously horrified and intrigued. “Look, how about you hold onto your speculation for now. Let me read a few chapters and we’ll see what you think then.”

While they grumbled a little, they settled in and waited for me to start. I cracked open the new book, the spine crackling. I was tempted to stuff my face between the pages and get a whiff of that new-book smell, but I had a feeling I would be disappointed. It would smell only of paper and glue, rather than Jordan’s aroma. I would much prefer to drop by his apartment later and take a deep breath straight from the source.

This book was a hard-won victory for Jordan. He’d been so devastated when his agent of six years had rejected his book. I knew for certain he could’ve convinced him to find a publisher for it—based on Jordan’s name alone, someone would’ve picked it up—but once he’d insulted it, Jordan couldn’t bring himself to work with him. And I’d agreed with that decision after hearing how he’d treated him over the years. And so, I’d spent a few late nights with Jordan finding the right publisher for his new venture. We ended up choosing a small press. They didn’t have the same big marketing budget as his old publisher, and he wouldn’t be doing a cross-country tour this time, but they’d been eager and kind.

I knew he was absolutely terrified to share this book with the world. Everyone had expectations. It was like an actor being type cast for a certain kind of role. Jordan’s readers were expecting a certain style of book, and he was prepared for a lot of them to be disappointed. He’d considered publishing under a pseudonym, but the publisher had pushed for him to keep his name on the cover. That was going to be the biggest draw, after all. From there, the process had moved very quickly. It had only been a month since they signed the contract, and already his book was hitting the shelves.

I paused on the first page, reading the dedication:To the man who encouraged me to rediscover my love of writing. You are my inspiration. Thank you.

My eyes misted up. He hadn’t mentioned me by name, but I knew without a doubt that it was meant for me.

“Why are you crying? You haven’t even started reading yet,” Roger said, frowning.

Betty made a little choking noise. “Oh no! Nobody said it was going to be a tear-jerker. Where’s my Kleenex?” She reached up into her sleeve where she always kept a few tissues at the ready.

I had to clear my throat a few times to force away the emotion. “I’m not crying,” I claimed once I had control of myself. “Shall we get started?”

Just a few pages in, and already I was hooked. This book was everything we’d talked about. The characters were completely relatable, and so were their dilemmas. I could so easily imagine Jordan as the main character, Seth, and myself in the role of Xander, the farmer.

I was just starting the third chapter when I was interrupted by a throat clearing. I glanced up from the book to see who was trying to get my attention. It was Roger, and he looked grumpy. “What is it, Roger? Can you hear me okay? Do you need me to talk louder?”

“No, if anything I’m hearing ittoowell.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“It means,” Lavender said, “that this books sucks. Where’s the action? Where’s the sex?”

Suddenly, it was like the floodgates opened up. I hadn’t heard so much griping from the residents since the kitchen changed the brand of pudding that came with their meals. They kept going on about what they wanted more of (sex, violence, sex, angst, and sex), and what they wanted less of (“So much talking, blah, blah, blah. Nobody cares about your feelings!”).

I could feel it all slipping out of my control. I had to win them back somehow. “Hey!” I called over the disgruntled din. “Why don’t I skip ahead to some of the steamy scenes.”

They quieted down, so I sat back into my seat and flipped ahead. I knew there had to be a few hot scenes, considering he wrote one while I teased him mercilessly. “Ah! Here’s one,” I said.

Part of the scene was a direct description of what I’d done to Jordan at the time, and I could feel my pants tightening as I read. This was so much sexier when I knew firsthand what it felt like to be inside him. That was my cock he was talking about, his ass…

Except, when I peeked up at my captive audience, they were still frowning. “What? What’s wrong this time? This is what you asked for.”

“No way!” Davis grunted. “Are you sure this is the same author? How’s the omega supposed to get pregnant if they use a condom?”

“I don’t think there’s going to be a surprise baby in this one.”

“What? No baby?!” Lavender’s lips pulled into a disappointed pout, and she clutched at her chest.

“That’s not the only problem,” Davis huffed. “There’s no huge, throbbing phallus. That guy he’s describing sounds… average.”

“What’s wrong with average?” I asked, feeling particularly offended.

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