Page 88 of I Promise You
“Why didn’t you tell me that the same people responsible for my brother’s death are after you…after us?” He goes rigid, his grip on the bouquet intensifies, and his knuckles turn white. “Why are they after you, Danny? I know you’ve never been in a serious relationship before, but this is definitely something you warn your girlfriend about.”
My bangs drip with rain, and Danny rubs his hand through his beard, looking away from me.
“Who told you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“You’re right. Why am I asking? I already know who it was.” His deep voice concedes with a grimace.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve told you time and time again. No more secrets, and you still can’t do it.”
“Ari, it’s a little hypocritical of you, don’t you think?”
I’m taken aback. I narrow my eyes in confusion at his accusation.
“No more secrets, but you still haven’t told me about Kane’s visitation.”
My heart sinks, and I had already forgotten about that because nothing happened.Kane has always visited me and kept his promise to my brother. Visiting me in the middle of the night was something out of the norm, but still, he has always been there since Paul died, even though I never gave him any attention. I acknowledged his efforts, but that was all it was. I never carried personal conversations with him since I was too busy grieving and studying in the past.
Lightning strikes in the distance, flashing Danny’s face with light shades of white, like a flashlight.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to create an unnecessary rift between the two of you.” I wave my hand defensively. “You guys work together, you guys are friends, on the same team, and I won’t add more fuel to a fire that doesn’t need to be ignited. It’s silly, pointless, andinnocent.”
He squints through the rain. The water has completely flooded his clothing, accentuating every muscle underneath his black shirt.
He sighs.
“I didn’t tell youto protect you. You don’t need to worry about the bullshit that my job holds. Nothing has happened so far. My team and I are taking care of it, and if that means you can focus on rebuilding yourself without having to worry about things you shouldn’t, then I’ll be the fucking bad guy in your story.”
“Really?” I squeak, my scrubs feeling heavy on my body now. It’s fair, but at the same time, it’s dishonesty.
My eyes sting and grow heavy with anguish. I look away from his beautiful face to muster more courage to say what I need to.
“I don’t trust you anymore,” I tell him brokenly. It almost comes out like a whisper, but I know he heard me. “Your father was right. I’m only going to hold you back.”
“He’s not right about anything, Ari. He’s a narcissist.”
“But...your job…this constant feeling that Death surrounds us like it has a permanent hold on me and the ominous darkness of it reminding me that it did its damage on my soul. It echoes over and over again in the depths of my mind. I can’t do it anymore, Danny.” I suck in air because I feel like I’m suffocating. My voice pitches high with despair. “You are no good for me. I... I need time alone. We need time apart.” I say sternly. “You’re poison to me.”
He stops breathing, and so do I when the words leave my mouth.
Do I mean it? Do I really mean this?
Danny pales, as if I just shot an arrow through his heart. His face falls, jaw clenching hard as he straightens his back. He steps away from me, turning around slightly and rubbing his chin.
“You’re always gone, anyway. I’m always alone.” I feel like I have to tell him these things. For one, it’s the fucking truth. And second, maybe I can make him hate me this time around. Maybe it’ll help him realize I’ve been a complication all along like he said I was.
“I won’t let you leave me, Ari. Grant me mercy by putting a bullet in my head, then. Because I’d rather die than live in a world where someone else has your soul and not me.”
I’m inflamed with anger, and I charge over to him. I push his shoulder, but he doesn’t flinch.
“Just please go! Leave!” I point to his truck menacingly. “Leave like you always do. Leave now! Before I say things.” I scream.
The rain picks up harder, and the pouring water patters the surface of our skin.
He looks up at me and furrows his eyebrows. He’s in pain as my words leave my mouth.
“No. Just say it, Ari, stop being so fucking scared all the time. Stop being so fucking weak.”
