Page 36 of I Promise You
I don’t recognize that name. Have I been gone that long that Doctor Golds left? I knew he was about to retire, but I’ve recently been distracted by my chaotic life to keep up.
“Who?”
“Doctor Reese? The new attending that started last week? He’s a terror to be around. He’s always pissed off. You could do everything right, and he’ll still find a way to be mad at you.”
I look over the list of patients in the ER. The list is long. I’m in for a busy night, but maybe this is what I need. I need to keep my mind distracted from the sadness that wants to drag me down further.
“Great,” I mutter, walking toward the coffee station, in need to fuel my body with vast amounts of caffeine to get me through my first day back, and Lori follows me.
My mind trails to the past as I remember my time in Iraq. Being around Lori triggers that. I had a bigger purpose in my life there. I saved so many lives, including one of my brother’s friends. I also discovered parts of myself I thought never existed inside of me because of a man named Danny Rider. He showed me a lot about myself. Pushing my boundaries, fracturing the shell I hid behind all my life. The first time I ever surrendered myself to someone. I only have good memories of that place, except for the few I have of Shane.
His cold, distant black eyes make me panic whenever I think about him.
Maybe if I distract myself with work, I won’t fall deeper into this depression: the constant heartache, grief, and loss.
When I received news my brother died, it was in North Carolina.
When I got attacked, it was here…in North Carolina.
When I lost my baby…it was hereat home.
I may run away from my problems, but this time, I will never apologize for putting myself first.
“That’s enough gossiping, you two.” Someone’s rugged glacial voice cuts our conversation short. I flip over to see him, and he’s staring knives at the both of us.
“Doctor Reese.” Lori crosses her arms defensively.
“Sorry, sir. Won’t happen again,” I apologize.
I say I’m sorry because the last thing I want to do is piss my new boss off. I refuse to get on his bad side on my first day back. I’m a people pleaser, it’s just who I am. I can’t help it sometimes.
“We weren’tgossiping,doctor. We’re talking about work,” Lori snaps back, fearless. Her tone of voice was professional, but I’m internally rooting for her.
I love that she never takes shit from anyone, including our new grumpy doctor in charge of us.
“Either way, get back to work.” He closes his binder, unbothered by Lori’s defense. “There’s a patient that got out of surgery about a week ago, Ms. Alvarez. She’s in room one.” He looks at me with an icy glare. “Please get her to walk. The faster she walks, the faster she can get discharged.”
“Yes, sir.”
After waves of patients poured in, I finally could eat my lunch. Or rather, stuff it down quickly. I had almost forgotten to take my break. I was too busy caring for my patients and ensuring I had the correct medications and dosages.
It’s already been one hell of a shift, and I’m still not halfway through it.
I review my patient’s chart, taking in every detail of her case and history before walking in as usual. I look through the glass tosee a young woman with long black hair flipping through the TV channels with the small plastic remote in her hands. She doesn’t notice me yet, but I can see the cast on her ankle.
Ihad surgery not too long ago…
I hate what comesafter. It’s a long journey to recovery. Not everything fixes or heals with surgery. Some things take time.
I finally entered the room with the physical therapist at my side.
“Hello, Ms. Salem.” I walk over to her side, and she turns toward me, startled by my greeting. “We’re here to help you start walking. How are you feeling today? Any pain?” I ask, gripping the armrest and looking at the monitor.
Her blood pressure and oxygen levels are normal, and so is her heart rate.
So far, so good.
At first, she seems puzzled by me, but then she eyes me so intensely I’m lost.
