Page 35 of I Promise You
His body goes still. Is it still with desire? Or still, because I’ve called him out on something we have refused to discuss? We dismiss the elephant in the room that lingers every day.
It’s like my words struck a sensitive chord inside his soul, and my candor paralyzes him.
He looks back at me. His expressionless face infuriates me as it usually does. I can’t read him anymore and that frustrates me. The light from my lamp illuminates the profile of his beautiful face and I can see the scar on his lip.
“No, I haven’t. Because once I kiss you, I know myself too well.” He clenches his jaw. “If I kiss you, Ari, there’s no stopping me. I won’t be able to control my need to completely consume you…and we both know whatthatexactly means, my little angel.”
11
ARI
Iwent back to sleep after Danny returned from the shower last night. I went from tossing and turning to instant relaxation when he got into bed with me, his arm over my waist.
It feels weird to be back at work. It feels strange to be known as the girl who was attacked and lost her baby. The baby I kept a secret from everyone.
I’m still working in the trauma unit, and the ER is full of people. Sailors, marines, and their families impatiently wait to be seen. I hear chatter between the medical staff, pagers going off, and the hospital phone ringing constantly.
I hug my cardigan that’s thrown over my scrubs tighter. My body struggles to adjust from the cold weather outside to the heated hospital.
As soon as I walk through the emergency doors, my heart stops, and I’m met with a familiar co-worker across from me by the nurses’ station.
Lori.
I stop in my tracks and look at my close friend, who stands tall before me, just as stunned as I am. I’m about to start tearing up when she closes the distance and hugs me.
“Ari!” she says as she collides with me.
“Lori!” I exclaim back with a smile. “I knew you were coming back, but why didn’t you tell me you were here already?” I push her shoulder playfully.
“I’m sorry! When I got back, my girlfriend and I went to Hawaii for a few weeks. I just returned a few days ago. My bad, my bad.” She holds her hands up like she’s surrendering.
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
She immediately acknowledges my pain even through the credible facade I’m putting on, like a mask.
“I heard what happened,” she murmurs. “I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head while doctors pass us by frantically.
“I’m getting better.”
“Okay.” She sighs, not believing the lie I just told her.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“The gang's back together and I couldn’t be happier,” Lori says, hugging me closer to her body.
“I know…” I swallow the rock in my throat. “It just feels weird. Like I shouldn’t be here; I should be home, crying my eyes out, mourning my brother and baby, but I think I need this. I need to be at work helping people.”
“And that’s totally fine. Do you need to cry? I’ll cry with you. Do you need to eat a mountain of chocolate and pizza? I’ll eat it all with you. Do you need to scream at the world? I’ll scream as loud as I can until I lose my voice.”
My lips lift into a small smile.
“I’ve got you, girl,” Lori tells me, elbowing me playfully.
“Thank you, Lori. How’s Doctor Diaz?” I ask while making my way toward the nurses’ station, clocking in for my shift.
“He’s fine. He’s still there in Iraq. But he should be coming back to the States soon. I wish every doctor was like him. Now we’re stuck with the grumpy Doctor Reese.”
