Page 22 of The Convenient Cosentino Wife

“Eventually I’d like Adriano to have brothers and sisters.” Rocco hesitated, taking his time, wanting her to be able to process it all...as much as she could. “I loved being a big brother,” he added. “It’s a privilege, and a responsibility, one that would benefit Adriano, even if he feels a little jealousy at first. It is normal, you know.”

Her mouth opened, closed. Rocco now knew she’d been an only child and she’d hated it. She wouldn’t want Adriano to grow up alone. But Rocco wasn’t going to push now. Now was the time to ease back and let her think. Her mind had to be reeling.

“I need time,” she said, no longer pale, but rather flushed, her cheeks filled with hot pink color. “I have to think.”

“Of course.”

He hesitated and then rose. “Was there anything else you wished to discuss with me?”

She looked up at him, expression stricken, confusion evident in her eyes. “No,” she whispered.

He nodded and walked out.

CHAPTER FIVE

CLAREHEARDTHEdoor close behind Rocco but didn’t see as she’d put her head down on her arms on her desk, hiding.

She felt sick, heartsick, her body heavy and leaden. How could he suggest such a thing? How could he come here and after just one day propose to her?

How dare he?

And how could she even consider it because, God help her, she was.

Otherwise she would have shot him down on the spot. She would have laughed in his face. She would have told him to leave—and stay away. But she hadn’t done any of those things.

If she married Rocco it would be for Adriano. It wouldn’t be for her. It’d be to, as Rocco said so succinctly, protect Adriano and to raise him as a true Cosentino, something she couldn’t do on her own. She wasn’t a Cosentino. She wasn’t Italian. She wasn’t aristocratic.

But Rocco was nothing like Marius...and it had been easy to love Marius. Marius had been light and laughter, humor, warmth, security. She hadn’t had a lot of that growing up and meeting him had been a revelation. He’d added so much to her life in so many ways. She couldn’t imagine ever replacing him. She hadn’t wanted to replace him, and to contemplate replacing him with his older brother? A man that didn’t make her feel safe...a man that made her feel, but it wasn’t a brotherly emotion, or a brotherly attraction. She shouldn’t be attracted to Rocco, and yet there was this curiosity humming through her, an awareness that made her feel alive again.

But desire...she didn’t trust it.

Perhaps if the marriage was just a marriage in name only it wouldn’t be so overwhelming, but Rocco thought Adriano should have siblings. And Rocco was a physical man and she couldn’t imagine him being okay with a platonic arrangement.

She couldn’t imagine either of them surviving such an arrangement.

But to make love to him? To become Rocco’s?

Clare suppressed a little shiver, sensation rushing down her spine, making everything in her feel tingly.

To be fair, she and Rocco didn’t have to get intimate to make a baby. They could go the IVF route, use fertility doctors and all, specialists who’d put the sperm and egg together, saving them from becoming physical with each other. The thought calmed her.

There were options. She didn’t have to panic, and brothers and sisters for Adriano would be wonderful. Built-in friends—lifelong playmates—and a bond that would be stronger than anything else in the world. Clare did like the sound of that. She liked the idea that Adriano would have someone else in his life, someone who would be both friend and family, someone close to his age who would be in his life even when his parents were gone.

Her phone pinged, the alert reminding her she had a conference call in five minutes. Clare left her desk, refreshed her sparkling water and sat back down trying to mentally ready herself for the call, but all she could really think about was Rocco’s proposal.

Forty-five minutes later, Clare left her office and exited the house to cross the long stone terrace and take the stairs down into the garden. She smelled jasmine and the heady fragrance of the late summer roses, and she inhaled and exhaled the perfume trying to clear her head, hoping to find a little bit of peace and calm.

She shouldn’t have agreed to let Rocco stay. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but she no longer felt easy with him here. They’d had a wonderful morning, breakfast together, and then the visit to thecastello, followed by a picnic on the beach...but now her heart was racing and she felt panicked.

She couldn’t lose her son, not to Rocco—not to anyone. If she were completely honest, that was her biggest fear. Having been so alone and lonely as a child she’d always wanted family, her own family, one that she could cherish and shower with love, attention and affection. She would raise her children differently than she’d been raised. She’d make sure they knew they were the most important thing in the world, and nothing, and no one would come between her and them.

Would Rocco truly sneak Adriano away? No. But she couldn’t help worrying—what if her son ended up loving Rocco more than her? What if Adriano preferred Rocco over her?

It was childish of her, but Clare had never felt safe, and loved, until Marius entered her life, and then after a few wonderful years, he’d been taken from her and she’d felt abandoned all over again.

Miracle of miracles she was pregnant...and Adriano came into the world like the angel he was, helping heal her broken heart, helping give her purpose. And laughter. And love.

Because of Adriano, she loved and was loved.

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