Page 35 of Crowned For The King's Secret

‘Lie back down.’

That voice. It wrapped round him, as cool and soft as a river of silk. His body reacted the way it always did around her. He was half hard in an instant. He dragged a sheet over himself. Victoria was the last person he wanted to see. That sense of something shameful slicked over him like a coat of filthy oil.

‘What time is it?’

‘Early evening.’

He’d been out for hours this time. Victoria rose from the chair and walked into his en-suite bathroom. The light flicked on in there, illuminating his bedroom in its soft glow. The sound of water ran briefly before she came back with something in her hand.

‘I know what it’s like to wake up after one of those shots. It takes a while to feel normal. Lie back down.’

He obeyed. Her voice was so gentle and soft. A temptation, to fall into it and settle there, even though he had no room in his life for comfort and complacency.

‘You were hot, but I didn’t want to wake you.’ Victoria reached out and smoothed a damp, cool flannel over his skin. He almost groaned at the pleasure of it.

‘How long have you been here?’

‘Most of the day.’

Plenty of time to witness his humiliation. ‘Where’s Nic?’

‘Isadora’s looking after him.’

He shut his eyes as the cool cloth swiped his face. His body. He relaxed into the bed. Not in a drugged stupor but in true pleasure. The pleasure of being cared for, for once. He wanted to purr like one of those kittens, quietly being tamed by her.

‘Your doctor told me you have post-concussion migraine. I’ve seen what’s in your bathroom cabinet. I know what the doctor gave you.’

That doused the pleasure like cold water tossed onto a freshly lit fire. He remembered the pain, as if his head were being torn in two, her words,‘What the hell’s going on?’and in that moment of desperation for silence demanding that his doctortell her. What had his doctor said, and what did she think of him now?

‘My doctor’s been explicit about the risks versus the short-term benefits. I’m only using it as a last resort.’

Victoria shook her head. ‘You’re playing with my old enemies. I thought I was in control of it too, till I wasn’t.’

She continued to smooth the flannel over his sensitised skin. Victoria wanted to talk, that was clear. Perhaps she had admissions as difficult for her as his own were for him.

‘What happened?’

‘It was with a horse I rescued. She spooked and I was crushed. Back injury. Pelvis. It was agony. And whilst everyone told me my body had recovered, the pain didn’t go away. And then my doctor gave me something he said would help. It did, short-term. But it didn’t just take away my physical pain. It took awayeverything. Every problem I had ceased to exist, for a few hours at least. Then one day, I found I couldn’t stop. I never believed I could become an addict, till I was.’

He looked at Vic, sitting on the edge of the bed, so earnest. He ran his hands through his hair because all he wanted to do was to touch her. Take more of her caring, because she shouldn’t care about him at all. She should revile him and yet here she was.

‘How did you overcome it?’

He knew the reports his team had put together on her. Bland documents about a sanitorium in Switzerland that did not reflect this beautiful, vital woman who seemed to have borne so much and yet won her struggles.

She gave a bitter laugh. ‘I realised that I was tired of people controlling me. That the only way I was going to escape was to escape the addiction.’

‘People?’

‘I was encouraged to take the medication by my husband. He liked the way it made me calm, quiet and accepting of things I wasn’t happy about: my life. My marriage, which was a cold, dark place to live. When I had the accidenthebecame the victim and martyr. I couldn’t fall pregnant. He blamed me for that too.’

She seemed so fragile in that moment, these admissions of hers allowing herself to be so vulnerable to him. When had he ever had the luxury of the same, to show all of himself to another human being?

One night, that was when, in bed with a woman on his last night of freedom. Then he’d been true to the man he was.

‘It takes strength to recover, Victoria. It’s something to be admired.’

She put her hand over his, her cool blue-grey eyes flashing with something hard and fierce. ‘Promise me you’re not misusing your medication.’

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