Page 10 of The Fate Philosophy

He gave me that smile again. “I’m just taking a breather, Mace. Dragging Christmas trees all around town is tiring work.” He patted the couch cushion next to him as if beckoning me to sit down.

“But why you? Carter told me the maintenance guy for the building was going to come by and take down the tree for me.”

“He’s out of town for the holidays, and with Carter gone too, I’m acting as backup. I’m renovating my own house, so I’ve become pretty good with my hands.” He winked at me.

Ignoring that innuendo, I asked, “What happens when you go home for Christmas?”

He cleared his throat. “I– I’m not. I changed my mind.”

Something about his voice made me think that he may have never intended to travel home for the holidays to begin with, but I didn’t push it. I noticed his entire body tense, his face turning solemn in a way I didn’t think was possible. “I’m sorry,” I found myself saying.

In a flash, his features morphed back into an easy grin. “C’mere, Mace.”

For some reason impossible for me to comprehend, I did. “I never gave you permission to call me Mace.”

“And Penelope never gave you permission to call her Penny. Don’t deal what you can’t take.” That was true. Penelope hated that nickname. She only ever allowed her dad to call her that but the day I met her I couldn’t help myself. The red hair and the freckles and her saucer-like eyes. I mean, it justscreamsPenny. She eventually got used to it, and now I think she finds it endearing, even if she doesn’t admit it.

Kind of like I’d never admit that the shortening of my own name sounded familiar, warm, and comforting when it slid off Dom’s tongue.

He watched me with an animal-like focus as I crossed the room and sat down next to him, as far to the edge of the couch as I could get. “So, why aren’t you going home for Hanukkah?” he asked.

“I’m not explaining my choices to you so you can judge them and point out all my shortcomings.”

His laugh was sharp. “And here I thought you liked our banter.”

I picked at my nails, refusing to meet the gaze I knew was glued to me. “You’re not funny enough to call it banter.”

I suddenly wondered if his ‘banter’ was a way of avoiding talking about whatever it was about the holidays that was clearly bothering him. I wondered if he wasn’t leaving because he didn’t want to be alone.

“That’s exactly what I mean. I don’t give you anything I don’t think you can handle, and I am confident anything I can throw at you, you’ll throw right back.” I felt his body turn sideways, facing me head on. “And I don’t judge you, Macie.”

I looked at him then. That sincerity from earlier was back into his tone. His eyes blazed into me with an intensity that made it impossible to look away.He’s actually interested in what I have to say. That’s what his expression was telling me.

I sighed. “I’m not going home because I can’t afford it. Plane tickets are too expensive.”

“Your parents wouldn’t buy it?”

“They probably would. But I’m going to be twenty-seven next year. Asking my parents to buy me a plane ticket gives them a great excuse to spend our time together lecturing me about how financially irresponsible I am, or how I need to settle down and find a man to take care of me.” I forced my eyes to look away, unable to handle his stare any longer. “You know, I’m twenty-fucking-six and my mom has been telling me I need to start freezing my eggs?”

I thought I felt him lean closer. “Do you want kids?”

“I…'' I blinked at him, surprised by the question. “I don’t know. Maybe? The point is that I shouldn’t need to know the answer to that at twenty-six. Nor should I need to prioritize finding a husband, or preserving my reproductive system.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Are you financially irresponsible?”

That earned him an eyeroll. “I’m trying to get my shit together.” My tone was defensive, but when I looked at him again, the softness in his expression hadn’t waivered. “But yeah. I got into quite a bit of debt after college. I spent six months traveling around the country in a van with a boyfriend. He dumped me on the side of the road in New Mexico and I was too embarrassed to go home and face my family. They always hated him,” I found myself chuckling. “So, I bought a car on credit and continued the journey myself. I’ve been to all of the lower forty-eight states, but by the time it was said and done my credit card debt almost matched my student loans.” I glanced at him. “And unfortunately, I didn’t go into the most lucrative of careers.”

He smiled at me, but it wasn’t his typical mocking grin. It was charming. He was smiling like he was intrigued. Smiling the way he did the first night he met me. That smile made me want to tell him my entire life story. Every mistake, every triumph, every stupid and brilliant thing I’ve ever done.

“That sounds like you.” I flicked my brow. “Traveling around the country. That’s something I can totally see you doing.” I didn’t respond, because I was too focused on choking back a smile. “But you’re passionate about your career, right? Teaching?”

“I guess. I mean, I used to be. Now I’m not always so sure.” I huffed. “But it’s not like I have any other options, anyway. That’s what my degree is in. All my experience. It’s the only thing I know how to do. It might be the only thing I’m good at.”

“You always have options, Mace.” He propped his arm on top of the couch and leaned his head against his hand. “And for the record, I think you’d be good at just about anything.” I dropped my gaze to my lap when I failed to hide that smile I’d been keeping at bay. When I raised my head again he was staring across the living room. “The house feels empty now without that tree. Do you have any Hanukkah stuff you’re going to put up?”

I shook my head. “Nah. But I might go get a menorah. It would make my parents feel good to see me participating in something.”

He let out a breathy chuckle. “Did you have any family traditions when you were young?”

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