Page 47 of Diverge

“Probably for the best, I’m wrecked. I’ll walk you to your car.”

We exit the elevator on the ground floor and walk out the large front doors. Stopping, I feel around my pockets because I just remembered I may have left my phone in the office upstairs. I check inside my bag and sigh in relief when I see it.

“All good?” Felix questions.

“Yeah, I thought I left my phone upstairs, but it’s in my bag.” I smile. I see a familiar figure emerge from the shadows, and my smile grows slightly bigger when I realise it’s Nate.

His face is set in stone as he approaches, and my smile is ripped off my face in almost an instant as his fist meets Felix’s throat. Horror, shock, and fear descend on me like a waterfall crashing into a river. My screams tear through the dark night as he beats this man senseless.

“What the fuck are you doing!? STOP!”

I try to pry him off Felix, but it’s no use. He’s three times my size. He shrugs me off like I’m an annoying fly on his shoulder. Picking up Felix by his hair, he slams him into the wall and says something to him I can’t make out. From the blood rushing through my ears, I can only hear my thoughts. I don’t understand what’s happening. Nate catapults his knee into Felix’s ribs as blood flies out of his mouth. Rushing to Felix’s side, I look up at Nate. I want to scream, I want to fight, but I stay here, like an immovable object, completely immobilised.

Why would he do this? Felix would never hurt a fly.

What the fuck is going on?

By the time I manage to dislodge the knot in my throat, Nate is walking away, back towards the shadows he emerged from.

“STOP!” I yell as I pick myself up and run after him, turning the corner of the block. I spot Nate turn around, a sombre look on his face. Both my fists meet his chest, but he doesn’t budge.

“What did you just do!?” I yell as his jaw clenches, looking away from me. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?” My voice breaks. “I wassowrong about you.”

“Yes. You were.” He finally speaks, his voice calm. How can he be this calm after he beat the shit out of Felix? I feel like I’ve been betrayed, robbed of the wonderful moments we spent together. He is not the man I believed him to be. He sighs as he turns to walk away.

“Don’t walk away from me!” Hot tears sting at the back of my eyes, an uneasy feeling settling into the pit of my stomach.

“Fine!” He turns to face me, visibly upset, the veins in his throat popping out as he yells. “I had to do it because it’s what I fucking do!”

Confusion laced with hurt filters through my blood that’s already overflowing with adrenaline. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that I lied to you, okay? I’m not a full-time instructor at the gym. I work for extremely dangerous people. I’m not who you think I am.” He points in Felix’s direction.

“That guy on the street clutching his organs has a massive gambling debt, and the person wanting that money back sent me to do his bidding.” He runs a hand over his stubble, clearly frustrated with this conversation or himself. I can’t be sure which one. “It means... that I’m not good for you. I will never be good for you, B. I’ve been in the underworld since I was a teenager, and guess what? You can’t leave this world without a bullet in your chest, so this is me, baby... claimed by the darkness and forever tainted by it.”

“I—”

He cuts me off before I can speak. “I love you, Billie. That’s why I have to be fair to you. I can’t be selfish with you, and I have been up until now, but that ends.”

“What? You can’t just decideforme!” A lump forms in my throat. “You can’t just quit...” My breathing is erratic. “...I...I thought...” I stumble over my words, my brain working overtime to catch up to everything he has said.

He loves me.

“I’m moving to the States with Noah,” he blurts out.

Shock washes over me as tears run down my cheeks. I bite my lip to stop them, but they keep coming. A beat passes before either of us speaks again. “So that’s it then?”

“Noah got a full scholarship with Stanford University in California.” He sighs as his hand twitches as if he was about to reach out to me.

“When?” I manage to say through the cracking in my chest.

“Tomorrow.” The crack splits my entire chest in two, making it hard to breathe, the tears making it hard to see.

“I can’t stay here and be the man you need me to be. My past will not allow it, and I could never forgive myself if something happened to you because of it.” He reaches out, placing a hand on the side of my face, his thumb wiping away my tears.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He places his lips on mine, kissing me tenderly.

“I wish things were different. I wishIwere different,” he whispers, and with that last kiss, I watch as he walks away into the night, taking a piece of me with him. My body feels numb as I’m immobilised once again.

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