Page 29 of Diverge

“Then why didn’t you call?” Quickly backtracking, I shake my head. “Don’t answer that. I shouldn’t have asked. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

He turns to face me in his chair and turns me to face him, his hands on the armrest of my chair.

“It does matter.” He sighs. “I should have called you. I should have messaged you. I should have donesomethingto let you know I didn’t just leave and that you weren’t just a one-night stand.”

Tears threaten to fill my eyes hearing the confession from him, but I force them back.

“It’s too late, Finn, I’ve moved on.” I lie through gritted teeth, hoping to God he doesn’t see through me. “I don’t want to talk about the past.”

His brows furrow, and to my dismay, he calls me out.

“Bullshit.” His eyes bore into mine, analysing every secret I have ever told, or so it feels like it. “You still care about me, about us.”

“Us? There is no us. To be honest, I’m not sure there ever was.” Sighing, I look down at my hands, feeling exposed at how well he can read me, even after a decade.

“Don’t do that, B.” Slipping his finger underneath my chin, he tilts my head up ever so softly, my eyes meeting his. “Don’t ever look away from me.”

I feel my heart in my throat as thoughts turn to mush inside my brain. I can’t think, the ability is gone. I’m frozen in time.

Why does he smell so fucking good?

He leans in, and my body betrays me as my hand reaches out to caress his strong jaw

NO, NO, NO. What the fuck are you doing!?

I turn away before I keep going any further and begin to pack my things. “This was a mistake. I should go.”

“B, please. Don’t go,” he pleads as he reaches out to me.

“Please ask your marketing manager to email me. I can work out finer details about another meeting with them.” Shoving my stuff inside my bag, I waste no time making a beeline for the door when his strong hand grabs me by my elbow.

“I miss you. Fuck, Billie, I miss you so much it’s turned me into someone I’m not.” His eyes bore into mine as I look up at him. “Why won’t you just hear me when I say that?” My legs are stuck, tangled in the moment.

“You hurt me.” My voice comes out all squeaky. “You were the last person on this earth who I thought would hurt me, and that’s exactly what you did when you left.” Tears well up in my eyes, and I lose the battle as they flow down my cheeks. “I fucking loved you, and you left without a goodbye. Did you not once think about how much it would affect me?”

He winces at my confession as he caresses my cheek, wiping away my tears.

“I had my reasons, B. Please give me the chance to make it right. Even if you don’t want to be with me anymore, I understand. Just give me the chance to explain,” he pleads.

I should just move on. Nothing good could come of this anyway. It’s been a whole decade. I don’ttrulyknow who he is anymore.

He could have changed for the worse.

He could have become someone I can’t be with anymore.

Do I even want to be with him?

What about Nate?

Oh god, Nate. No, just because he wants to explain himself doesn’t give him the instant right to date me. That card is in my hand, not his. At the end of the day, I truly like Nate. He’s a fantastic guy, and my god, he is a great fuck, but that’s not all I want him to be. I know we can have more, but this thing with Finn will never truly go away until we can be in the same room as each other. I feel a pang of guilt when I wrap my arms around Finn’s neck as he pulls me into his embrace, his strong hands caressing my back.

I did miss him, I missed him so much it was a constant ache in my chest whenever I would think about him. It feels like home in his arms, a place I thought I would never get to experience again.

Pulling myself together, I wipe my tears off my cheeks and gather my thoughts before I speak.

“Okay,” I manage to say.

“Okay?” He smiles softly.

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