Page 19 of Diverge

No, no, no, this cannot be happening.

I squeeze my eyes shut to force myself to wake up from this nightmare, but it’s no use. My heart thunders beneath my chest as there’s another rumble at the door followed by Finn’s voice.

“Billie, please open the door. I need to talk to you.”

Nate looks to the door and looks at me, waiting patiently for me to make a decision.

Why in the world is he here!?

What is not clear about ‘don’t contact me again?’

Turning around, I grip the handle, steadying my shaking hand, I slowly open the door.

“What do you want?” I ask, my voice stern. His business shirt is untucked, blazer flung over his shoulder. His eyes are slightly heavy, making it obvious that he’s drunk.

“B, I need your help.” Even in his drunk state, he looks perfect, which makes me mad.

“You’re drunk, Finn, go home.” I begin to close the door when his hand flies out and stops me, slamming the door back into the wall.

“No, B, you don’t understand. I need your help with the business.” He barges in straight past me and stops dead in his tracks when he sees Nate. He turns to look at me with visible hurt in his eyes as he realises what he just stepped into.

“You didn’t tell me you were seeing anyone.” There is hurt in his voice, but what I can’t decipher is why?

“Finn, I asked you not to contact me.What the fuckare you doing here?” I’m getting impatient now for him to leave.

“Me? What the fuck ishedoing here?!” He points to Nate.

“Okay, I think it’s time you went home, Finn. You’re drunk,” Nate intervenes when Finn raises his voice at me.

Completely ignoring Nate, Finn continues. “You won’t even talk to me, but you’re sleeping with Nate?”

Is he for real?

“It’s none of your business.” My tone is sharp.

What is it to him who I sleep with? After all this time, he caresnow?

“I miss you, B.” My brows furrow as I look to Nate and back to Finn. When neither of us speak, Finn persists. “More than you know.”

Tears begin to sting the back of my eyes, and I fight so hard to not let them fall because the truth is, I think I miss him, too. I just don’t want to admit it to myself. Admitting it to myself would mean to forget the radio silence, the no contact, nothing, and Ican’t.

“Get out,” I say through gritted teeth, hoping the tension in my jaw will stop me from falling apart.

Nate grabs Finn’s arm and walks him out the door. Finn shrugs him off, the tension between them rising like a storm.

“Go home, Finn,” Nate says as he stands in front of me, facing him, leaving me completely frozen in place, unable to move.

“I won’t fight you, Nate. I have more class than you.” Slurring his words, he begins to head down the stairs.

Nate closes the door and walks over to me, wrapping me in his safety. He cradles me in his arms as I begin to sob. Each time I see Finn, I’m reminded of what once was, how much we loved each other, how much we did together, and how well he knew me.

Everypart of me.

How can someone’s night begin with such promise only to end in renewed pain?

Why can’t he just let me live my life?

After a while passes with me blubbering into Nate’s shirt, I eventually stop to look up at him. Worry dances in his eyes as he looks into mine. Unsure of what to say, I bite the inside of my bottom lip. I’m completely embarrassed by everything that has unfolded before him.

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