Page 51 of Diverge

Finn sighs. “I don’t agree with your thinking on this. If you are not happy where you are, you should leave and find something that makes you happy. Life’s too short to work somewhere you despise.” His words ring true, but the paralysing fear will never allow me to make such a drastic change in my life.

“Maybe someday,” I say.

Once we arrive at the stadium, we park in one of the large parking lots and make our way to the entrance. Reaching the front of the line, the security guard scans our tickets and lets us through. Our tickets are general admission so we’re in the standing zone, and there are already so many people crowding the front of the stage, singing along to the opening band’s song.

“So, are you going to tell me who is headlining?” I ask. Finn smiles with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Just be patient.” He throws his arm around me as we walk closer to the stage.

After a few songs, the opening band leaves the stage as the sun sets, creating an orange hue in the sky. The whole stadium is now full. A few people in the crowd start chanting something, but it’s hard to make out as it’s not loud enough. Then almost everyone joins in, and I cannot believe my ears. They’re chanting for Slipknot. My eyes go wide as I look at Finn, a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Slipknot?!” I yell over the crowd.

He nods so fast I laugh at his excitement. It was always our dream to watch Slipknot live together. Grace never liked our type of music. She’s more of a Swift fan than a Slipknot one, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but like I said, we like different things.

I throw my arms around him as he takes me in a bear hug.

“This is fucking amazing!” I’m practically vibrating with excitement. I kiss Finn on the cheek and look to the stage, then to the crowd filling the entire stadium, chanting our favourite band’s name. The sound of thousands of people’s voices booms through my chest.

I feel Finn’s hand in mine as he intertwines his fingers with mine.

Electricity buzzes from my fingers through to my toes when I see the lead singer take the stage as the crowd roars.

“How the fuck you all doing tonight!?” Corey Taylor yells into the mic, which earns him another roar from the crowd. Holy fuck, is this happening right now?

Am I truly at a Slipknot concert?

I swallow as I take in the atmosphere around me. So many metalheads covered with tattoos surround us as the band plays their first song of the night.

Some may be afraid to be where we are right now, but to me, this is home.

These are my people. Finn and I sing along to every song, and I literally had to stop him from jumping into the mosh pit because I was too scared for his safety. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, letting the music in, feeling every note, beat, and drum in my soul.

My eyes almost pop out of my head when I hear the intro to “Snuff.” I listened to this song almost every day when Finn left. It reminded me of him, and I didn’t want to let him go. I refused to at the start. I feel my heartbeat thump against my chest at the reminder of the many days I spent in bed crying, blasting this song in my headphones. Looking at Finn, my vision blurs as tears well up inside my eyes. Sensing my eyes on him, he turns to me, concern etched in his face. Leaning in, his hot breath tickles my neck.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into me. He slides his arms around my waist as he hugs me back. Pulling away slightly, our arms still wrapped around each other, I run my fingers through his short hair.

“I listened to this song almost every day when you left,” I confess.

His brows furrow as his eyes close for just a moment.

“I missed you so much.”

A part of my heart cracks even further when I think about half my heart belonging to Nate and the other half to Finn. It kills me that Finn knows this, and yet it still doesn’t change a thing for him.

Sighing, he places his forehead on mine.

“You have no idea how many times I thought of buying a plane ticket and coming here, knocking on your door, taking you in my arms, and never letting you go again.”

His words send a tear rolling down my cheek. He wipes it away with his thumb, placing his hand on my cheek.

“It physically hurt me to be away from you. I couldn’t bear the thought of you being oceans away from me. I hated that I hurt you, and I hated everything about my life for so long because I wasn’t with you. You were my other half, my better half. Without you, I felt like I lost half of me, Billie.”

Sobs rack my chest as I let go of all the pain.

“I have loved you as long as I can remember. You were all that I dreamed, all that I wanted. You knew everything about me, sometimes even better than I knew myself. I felt so alone when you were gone. I felt betrayed by the person who I thought would never betray me.” Finn squeezes his eyes shut as if my words cause him physical pain.

---