Page 10 of Merry Me Bad Boy

Catching my breath, I try not to get all mesmerized by the mess coating my skin. Need to clean everything up as soon as possible. No more training sessions any time soon.

He’s the one to adjust himself and get a wet paper towel first. He almost looks sad to wipe away his release.

In an odd way, I am too.

If this is some kind of one time thing…I want this memory to last forever.

But, that’s not what this is, right?

Here’s to hoping my poor decision-making isn’t going to cause one awkward work environment.

* * *

Okay, maybe it’s not a one time thing.

Ever since we cleaned up and got everything back to normal, Jason as been sticking a little closer than before.

He might not have the same heat burning in his gaze, but he still wants to be near. He likes touching my body, grazing against me whenever he can.

My heart is fighting one rough battle. Might as well be considered a losing one, because I can’t find the strength to tell him to stay focused on his work.

I don’t even know what we’re supposed to be doing right now. More cupcakes, right? Business is still coming despite the weather. We’re trying to catch up after our little stunt.

The smell of bleach is still staining my nostrils. Even his cracked smiles and half-hearted apologies didn’t help stop me from beating myself up for giving in without even putting up a fight.

Assuming the guy would get a little bashful when Jen appeared for her shift, that didn’t affect him in the slightest. Now, he didn’t seem to notice her curious gaze at all.

Jason is a man with blinders on. From what I can tell, I don’t think he’s looked at anything else but my direction.

One thing has changed for certain. When he pipes a circle of frosting on a cupcake, I can’t look at the bag the same way. Sure, it might be a different bag, but I can’t stop thinking about what we did.

Hell, my skin still feels like it has a layer of stickiness to it. Even though he licked me thoroughly, I can feel the thin layer.

What I need is a shower to wash away all of the bad I’ve done.

No, a bath will be better. Far more relaxing, and I’ll be able to push away my troublesome thoughts. That, or I will simply let them consume me and I’ll bury a hand between my thighs and hope that I can bring pleasure that can only be somewhat comparable to the same kind Jason brought me.

Bad, bad Abby.

Saying no to something that I really want is so hard.

At least knowing that what I want from this man isn’t some quickie on a table, it makes keeping my head clear a bit easier.

Will Jason still want to linger right at my side if he knew that I’m thinking about something that fits more of a relationship rather than a friends-with-benefits type of deal?

My stomach twists and knots at the thought of confessing something so ridiculous. We’ve known each other for quite a limited time. It’s not very fair of me to start setting expectations and getting my hopes up.

This is why I don’t date. I grow attached far too quickly. However, I’ve never felt feelings so strong as what I feel for the man next to me.

“Abby,” Jason picks up while I am in mid-thought.

I don’t realize what he’s staring at until I see the glob of frosting on the table with a plain cupcake sitting next to it. Man, I am really struggling here.

“Sorry,” I mumble, shaking all the nonsense out of my head. Definitely can’t let this complication start affecting my job.

He gives me this concerned look but thankfully doesn’t point out how much I’m struggling while fighting this mental battle of mine.

Hopefully, he doesn’t think this is all his fault. Honestly, it’s mine too.

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