Page 68 of The Burnt Heart

My actual phone rang, a shrill sound that had my heart hammering.

“Father,” I answered. My mind was miles away.

“You haven’t been returning my calls.” He had the nerve to sound disgruntled.

I paced the length of my office, my skin crawling with excess energy. If I didn’t deal with it soon, my heart might implode.

“Well, what did you expect? Our last conversation was unproductive.” I wrapped an arm around myself while father sighed. Failed to keep the hurt from my voice. I had confessed about my ‘marriage’ and asked him to tell me the truth about whether he rejected the boy’s desire for his approval.

“I was shocked. My daughter has a pseudo elopement withthreemen who are not worth one iota of her time. My only child shames me in this way. Give an old man some grace. It’s a lot to stomach. Did they force it on you? Do they have something they are using against you?”

My chest stung, cheeks flushing at his accusations.

Did they force it on me?

Technically, yes, but it wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen us together for years or hadn’t heard me talking about the future with my guys.

“Has anyone ever forced me to do something I don’t want?” I said coldly, frustrated with this conversation already. “I don’t know why I am the one being required to give grace. You lied to me about having them threatened and hurt. Concealed it like you did laughing at their wanting to marry me. But I’m truly sorry to be such a source of shame to you.”

“You know what happens when we fall for someone outside of our world.” His desperate sips of air belied his disapproving tone. Pain flared hot and quick through the center of my heart.

“They’re not mom,” I argued, pressing my hand to my chest. I had acted like they were though. The realization made me suck in a sharp gasp. For years, I had kept them separate, fearing they would do exactly as my father warned. “They’re not,” I added,for my emphasis, rather than his. Because they were survivors. I should have trusted them, but I’d been led by my fears.

“I only want to spare you the heartache. Haven’t they given you enough of that?”

I grappled with his blunt statement, not sure how to argue my point. Jesse took a bullet for me, but they had all been steadfast.So far. My thoughts hissed, making their own argument.

“It’s not your choice, but mine,” I deflected. Putting my doubts in an airtight box for later.

“It’s my legacy you’re putting in danger by associating with them.” I heard a muffled noise, like he’d thumped his fist on the table.

“Do you regret mom?” My hand drifted to my stomach and the scars there and my heartbeat drummed frantically in my chest. Father sighed and there was a beat of silence before I continued.

“It’s our legacy and I can make my own choices, endure my own heartbreak.” I added softly.

Loving is risking.

There was no escaping the pain of love. It blistered through your defenses, burrowed into your soul. It could tear you apart and piece you back together. A heart could take it all and still feel. The scars leading to a level of love that was deeper than you could imagine. Love wasn’t surface level. Not if it was real.

“Do I want them for you? Of course not. But I never roughed them up, apart from once six years ago. Whatever poison they’re dripping in your ears, you need to be careful. You’re my baby. I want the best for you. A future where you don’t have to worry about someone coming for your crown. I thought you were spending a lot of time with Ray Donato. He is a better choice, feckless and hot-headed, yes, but you could control him. It would be so good for the two families to unite. This antagonism has been building since my father’s reign. We could end it.”

My spine tingled with a warning, and I chose my next words carefully.

“You mean I could end it. Ask Harold if he’d be happy for Ray to become a fourth husband. Would that please his machinations? I’ve already proven I can handle a cocky dick.”

Father blustered, muttering in Italian under his breath.

“If you want a truce, write it on a piece of paper and sign it in blood. I told you I would never marry Ray, not after he spat in my face when we were younger. That disrespect is unforgivable. I spent all that time with him to help rehabilitate his reputation. You know, like I did for you? For the Orazio name?” I left out the bit about making my exes jealous.

“A piece of paper can be torn up, but a child? Two prestigious bloodlines combined. Just think about itbambolina, those ruffians already proved they would accept money over your love. I’ll offer them whatever they want to leave again.”

I covered my mouth, sure that the rising bile would splatter over me. The sting forced my eyes closed, and I breathed through the sour sensation that crept up the back of my nostrils. His words were laced with a fervor that wasn’t his own and I knew they hadn’t come from him. Could I even trust my own flesh and blood right now? How could he suggest such a thing? It was abhorrent to bring new life into the world under such cold calculation.

“Perhaps you should consider who has been dripping poison in your ear. Because my father would never suggest I bring a child into this world to satisfy a grudge. Besides, it would be impossible,” I croaked, massaging my chest. I thought of my mom and the guilt which had driven her to an early grave. “Considering I can’t have children.”

I ended the call with a choked sob and dropped on my knees in front of the trashcan. I heaved until a pool of acid spit filled my mouth, and I hocked it up with a growl. My phone lashed itsdemands, the sound ringing in my ears. There was no way in hell I was going to answer it again.

It had to be Harold Donato.

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