Page 48 of The Burnt Heart

“If I knew who did it I would have dealt with them already.” My sockets ached as I rolled my eyes hard. I'd managed to coax him into picking up a call, but now I regretted it. Ray hummed over the phone, the complacent sound rankling my senses. I knew he was about to say something stupid.

“Are you sure it was Crimson Claw?”

There it is.

I pinned my tongue between my teeth to waylay the expletives I wanted to drown him in. I paused in the busy street, shuffling until my back hit the side of the building I was passing. Jonah loitered behind me, scanning the crowds just like I was. I categorized everyone wearing red, dismissing them when my senses weren’t peaked. A man with a red cap pulled low overhis head made a tingle crawl down my spine. I caught Jonah’s eye and jerked it toward him. Jonah’s eyes glinted as he moved in to investigate. My father wanted more guards on me, but I had refused. I didn’t want to give more reasons to doubt my leadership. He didn’t have a trail of muscle following him, because he had the skills to protect himself.

Just like I did. I wasn’t going to hide behind a pack of beefy men, not when I was more than capable of fending off almost everything that came at me. It required vigilance, the kind that two hours of sleep didn’t quite afford. But I wasn’t going to tell anyone that I’d suffered from insomnia ever since my car blew up.

“It was Crimson Claw, or someone who wanted me to think it was them. Although I don’t know why you would provoke that rabid pack.”

“What did the note say again?” There had been a note attached to the offensive red blooms that had been left.

“The clock is ticking. Your time ruling Greenich Bay is over.”

Jonah disappeared around the corner briefly and I swallowed the tingle that arrested my throat. If someone wanted to accost me, now was a good time. I closed my eyes, but it didn’t stop the red. Blood. Violence. Gore. The intrusive thoughts came hard and fast. I ducked into the alleyway and slammed into a hard chest. Hands snapped out to encircle my wrist, but I had the hard body pinned against the alley wall in seconds. My arm pressed upon the assailant’s throat when I looked up and realized it was Jesse. His lips twitched in a bemused smile as he held his hands up in surrender.

“Morbid. So, they sent a mutilated hand and now they’re taunting you through flowers. What is their end game here? Don’t they know by attacking the Orazios they risk having you band together with us?”

I barely heard the endless chatter in my ear, distracted by the appearance of Jesse. My pulse galloped in my ears, a roar I had to wrench control from.

“I’ve got to go,” I muttered, pulling the phone away to hang up. “Don’t skip out on the event I just sent you either. If you don’t turn up, I will cut your nuts off.”

“Unnecessary violence–” my fingers trembled slightly as I swiped at the phone, silencing Ray’s voice. He was still avoiding me in person, quietly terrified about how I was going to react to him messing around with Lara. My tolerance for stupid men was at an all-time low. I stepped away from Jesse, another one to add to the list. Did they not understand they shouldn’t walk up behind me? Especially when I was operating on adrenaline and a hair trigger. Jesse rubbed his throat without a hint of annoyance.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I hissed, crossing my arms. Jesse always looked good in navy blue. He had on a baggy hoodie, and he readjusted the collar while he stared at me. My skin prickled under his unabashed perusal.

“Jesse?” I asked through gritted teeth.

He matched my stance, crossing his arms over his wide chest.

“You looked bothered. I wanted to make sure you didn’t need some ‘assistance’. I know Logan is better at giving you what you need in those moments, but I can get on my knees. You can make me beg.” His eyebrow raised in challenge. “If you dare.”

My cheeks flooded with heat, and I resisted the urge to cover them with my hands. Of course, Logan would have told them what happened. Prying him away from me after the explosion had been difficult, especially now that he knew my intrusive thoughts were riding me hard. Logan hadn’t said anything, but his heavy touch spoke volumes. He wouldn’t press me, which is why Jesse was here. He was always better at getting through to me when I was stubborn. My chest ached, a reminder that I had to find a new way to cope. Six years I had opened my heartto these men. We had become so wrapped up in each other, shouldering each other’s burdens.

“That was a mistake.” The words tasted bitter on my tongue. He knew they were a lie, just like I did. I tried to move past him, but he pulled a letter out of his hoodie and dangled it toward me. My gaze narrowed on the creased paper.

“I thought you might want to see this. The letter my birth mother sent.” It was the sheen in his eyes that made me snatch the piece of paper and skim it. She’d infused the ink with regret. One line snagged my interest.

I'm sorry for the years we lost, but now we have a second chance.

“I got this letter one day when your father’s men beat me. They threatened to track her down and destroy her, too. So, I haven’t replied, didn’t want to bring trouble to her doorstep. Not until I could get myself free of it.”

I shook my head, thrusting the letter against his chest. Jesse grabbed my elbow, pulling me until the letter was plastered between us. My heart leapt at the intimate touch. I’d been a thousand times closer to him over the years, bare and joined. But his sharp cedar cologne tickled my nostrils, firing a part of my brain that had been dormant. I had to breathe deeply until the urge to throw my arms around him subsided. My heart and body didn’t get the memo. Months had passed and longing had seared itself into my cells like a disease.

“I spoke to my father. He was adamant that the only time he warned you away from me was six years ago.” I gulped, tugging ineffectually on Jesse’s branding grip.

“You don’t believe me?” Hurt flashed over his face.

My silence spoke volumes, and his shoulders slumped. Jesse shook his head, as if trying to escape the revelation. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. My heart might still nurture ourdeep connection, despite all efforts to purge it. We were done. I would keep repeating it until it became truth.

“No excuse is going to make up for the hurt we caused, but I thought if you understood the mindset I was in,” he cursed softly under his breath. “I hoped it might make a difference. But you’re resolved, aren’t you, princess? Nothing we say or do will change your mind. I toss and turn without you in my bed, you know. I miss the small things, like your ass pressed against me under the covers. Even the sound of your footsteps. Our house is lifeless without your things tossed on every surface.”

A reluctant smile cracked my face. I was a slob. Unintentional, but undeniable. Briar had given up trying to make me neat. He was the one who kept my things tidy while my head was running a million miles into the future. I clamped my teeth around my lip, the pain an anchor from the misery that crested inside of me. I missed each of them the same way. Things I’d never even noticed until I cleaved them from my life and had to live without their individual quirks.

“I feel like I’ve waited too long to reply to this. What would we even talk about?” Jesse sighed, releasing me from his iron hold. I slipped backwards as he folded the letter and tucked it away.

“This all sounds like something you should share with someone who gives a shit,” I drained the wild emotion from my voice, not willing to let him see how much his words had affected me. It was impossible to erect protection against these men. Not when they knew every inch of me. I had to become someone else, colder and detached.

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